Written by Becci @one.busy.mother
February’s new MM members kick started the week off with a very busy, very buzzy, coffee morn.
The Lioness of life coaching, Danielle Mckenna and MM’s Jenny Scott, welcomed all the mamas (some very very new mamas) and soon got on the way with some pointers for growing our self confidence.
Shoreditch House library was packed, literally bursting, some scared, some excited and some ‘not sure if I should be here?’ mums. After a quick little warm up exercise from Danielle, all of us couldn’t stop talking and the room was filled with energy ( a few baby screams and some boobs out action) the room was alive and it was pretty clear we were all glad we were there.
WE ALL have that annoying little inner critic of a voice, every single one of us, yep even the mums that look like they are SO together. We are all constantly doubting and pulling ourselves apart, on everything from our looks, to parenting skills, relationships and careers. This became very clear once we all started talking.
None of us had any trouble writing three negative things that we said to ourselves that morning. I’ll be honest I could’ve gone on to an extra sheet of paper.
It made me feel quite sad to hear some of the listings of doom when Danielle read them out. Really sad actually.
The energy had completely changed in the room. In fact it felt ...Flat as a pancake :(
Here I was in a room full of women, all totally different, some so stylish or with beautiful skin, gorgeous smiles, friendly and warm, and yet here they all were saying they were ‘too fat, too shouty, not good enough, too loud, too quiet, can’t do it’.
I am writing this like I hadn’t told myself anything negative ... well let me tell you I have the biggest arse hole of an inner critic, I rip myself to pieces daily....Even the morning of the meeting, anxiously wondering who I’ll know, will people think I’m this or that, will I blurt something out embarrassing blah blah blah. I am very good at appearing confident when inside I’m actually riddled with self critical ramblings .... Anyway....
We all had to close our eyes and picture this annoying inner voice as a person.
In fact do it now .....
What does yours look like? I imagined mine as the little red gremlin emoji 👹....most women saw themselves, the lady next to me ....pictured a skinny man... which keeps making me giggle. Picturing this inner voice as a person and connecting with them, can actually make it easier to control.
Next up was the chance for us to connect with our INNER LEADER... now listen up as this is the girl (or boy) you need to know ..
My Inner leader ... well she is basically Oprah, she is one bad ass mother, full of sass and confidence. She is telling me that I am wise, compassionate and helping me fill my life with purpose and clarity.
I pictured meeting her at my safe place (where’s yours? Mine is a beautiful, sunny beach ...I’m a cancerian, I love to be by the water) wth birds and butterflies and warm sun on my face.
So ok, are you with me ???
When that gremlin pops up, STOP, breathe, put your feet firmly on the ground and imagine being at your safe place.
Picture your inner leader coming to you there and telling you, ‘girl, you have got this, you can do this, you have the authority to live your life the way you want to, the power and the strength to be who you want to be,’ or if you can’t go that far, even just giving you the reassurance that they are there, when you need them.
Danielle taught me that in one hour🤷🏻♀️ .... made me think I probably should’ve seen a life coach about 20 years ago 😂
I’ve only been doing it for one day but I’m liking my little meet up with Oprah at the beach. She’s got my back.
As mums, you can really loose yourself can’t you? Putting everyone else’s needs above your own. Spinning a million plates.
Never giving yourself any time, feeling guilty when you do. Over time this can knock our confidence, which in turn can contribute to us missing out on opportunities, goals and dreams. All because of that little gremlin inner critic of an arse, but you have the power to change that.
You just have to find your inner leader
You deserve happiness, you deserve ‘you time’ however you can find it. You deserve to live your life how you want to, you have the power to change your life, you have the power to silence your inner critic. You need to practise self love, and self care.
I know it’s easier said then done, but just try it. Practise meeting your leader.
Tell yourself this ....
Find what you love, even for just 20 mins, a run, a bath, some meditation, yoga or maybe an insta scroll, a cuddle with your kids / friend /partner ...do whatever makes you feel grounded, and breathe
I absolutely loved meeting you all, and just for the record, all of the mums I had the pleasure of speaking to, I could easily now say three things about you that I thought made you flipping great,
You are BRAVE
You are BEAUTIFUL
You made me feel WELCOME
So Thank you.
When women support women powerful things can happen. We are in this together and we can help each other grow.
I look forward so much to meeting you again at the next MM.
Danielle and Jenny thank you, I will leave you all with this ....
@one.busy.mother for Mother’s Meetings.