Meet Georgia Billings, a force to be reckoned with. She is a mama of three who juggles motherhood while managing the career of Idris Elba's body double and supporting her husband, a badass Muay Thai boxer. Georgia has a keen eye for fashion and is always immaculately dressed, with her children looking like they have walked straight out of a Benetton campaign. On top of her busy schedule, Georgia is a trained doula and a born and bred South London badass, with a soul that shines through in everything she does.
​
1)Mum Hacks: Tips and trips for making life easier
As a mum of three (!) and wife to a Professional (World Champion, no less) Kick boxer – of course the first hack that comes to mind has something to do with the bane of my life…LAUNDRY. Ergh. The word even gives me shudders. Of all my accomplishments in life, having an empty laundry basket fills me with ultimate MUM GOAL vibes. Anyway, I digress – 
Hack 1: the sun, not only makes us instantly feel better and more glowy and beautiful but it’s the best for getting out newborn shit stains. How many baby grows are you guilty of throwing away because they had a huge yellow splodge that wouldn’t budge? Give the babygrow a rinse in cold water (with a bit of washing up liquid if you’re feeling fancy) and simply pop the babygrow outside in direct sunlight – and like magic, the stain disappears.
Hack 2: for older kids that play sports (or husband’s that go to the gym a lot (try 4 times a day, 6 days a week in this house…)) a scoop full of bicarbonate of soda, is the best addition to your wash to get rid of any lingering damp/stinky armpit smells.
 
 
2)The secret life of mums: Confessions from the trenches
Not so much a confession, but more a “must” – once you have a baby it’s so easy to loose yourself and your identity – I’ve been there, pretty certain we’ve all grieved our pre parent (have a lie-in till 1pm) selves at some stage. Third baby in, and this time round the “bounce back” (not in loosing baby weight – I wish!) has been so much more powerful – I’m confident in who I am, what I stand for, my priorities, my choices – and my wardrobe. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been – because I’m so concentrated on me. I surround myself with energy boosters. Actually, on reflection, I haven’t bounced back – I’ve evolved. 
 
3)The best and worst advice mums have received
I trained as a doula (although currently, I’ve put that career on hold) and the word “advice” is a bit of a trigger for my doula brain! Doula’s don’t give advice – they encourage clients to use their b.r.a.i.n.s to make informed choices (acronym for: benefits, risks, alternatives, intuition, nothing). If I had to choose..the best advice would be something my husband has said to me countless times, “set boundaries and don’t be afraid to say “no” if you don’t want to do something.”  It’s something I’ve really put in to practice since having our youngest son.
The worst advice, for me personally (after giving birth) would be “don’t worry about the mess, sleep when the baby’s sleeping” I can’t relax if our house is a pig sty – my brain would be way more relaxed, and in turn, I would feel more content if I spent that time tidying my space – we are all individuals, the most important thing is to do what works best for US. 
 
4)Mumfessions: embarrassing moments from parenthood
I know there are a million embarrassing moments, probably because the kids are at an age now, where they’re brutally honest about everything – no filters at all...which at times can be pretty toe curlingly embarrassing. I’m still breastfeeding, and being at a work meeting, or a cool brand’s PR event and my milk soaking through my top, still makes me all hot and flustered – although it usually ends up as a bonding tool, as guaranteed at least one other parent in the room can sympathise!
 
5)Parenting fails: when things dont go as planned
A couple of evenings ago – after eating dinner, the baby was having some nappy off time, crawling around the front room before bed. The rest of us were still sitting at the dining table, catching up on the day etc … 5 or so minutes later, my eldest son went to join his little brother on the floor and immediately starting shouting “NO ROBIN!! NO ROBIN!!” 
Intrigued, I went over to see what was happening… Robin has done a poo on the floor, and was picking the sweetcorn out of his log – and eating it. EPIC FAIL.
 
 
6)The truth about potty training: A mum’s perspective 
I potty trained my daughter (she’s almost 5 now) during lockdown. We were all indoors for months – and the first thing I brought was a potty. I didn’t put any pressure on her at all – she naturally just started sitting and weeing on the potty. As with everything children related, consistency is the key – just keep at it. Also, children’s milestones are often a competition amongst parents – battle of the “who walked/used the potty/counted to 5 in French first” don’t fall in to that pressure circle. You’ll know when you’re both ready.
 
 
7)The mum squad: finding your tribe in the world of parenthood
I lead such a busy life that I find it really hard to sync diaries with a lot of my friends that have children. I’m guilty of making plans and then either cancelling or one of us completely forgets that we had a date in the diary – so last minute “hey babes, what you up to today/tomorrow” plans usually work best for me. My true friends don’t take me cancelling or my ‘not seeing them for 6months’ personally – when we do meet up, we pick up where we left off and there is no animosity or hard feelings. This ties in to the ‘boundaries and people pleasing advice’ I mentioned above – I’ve learned to prioritise myself, my family and my work commitments and sadly, that doesn’t leave time for a whole lot else – I’m extremely fortunate and blessed that I’m happiest when I’m with the people that live within my four walls.
 
8)Mum’s night out: the Importance of self care and fun.
I’m a bit of a boring bastard – I don’t get out and socialise or “have fun” how other’s would perceive to be the conventional way, very often. Robin is almost one, although he eats food now – he falls to sleep on my boob every night and I prioritise him each and every time. I don’t enjoy my time out otherwise, knowing he’s distressed. Instead I try to arrange daytime plans (brunch/lunch etc). This year I’ve been consistent with my fitness regime, and holding myself accountable, and I’ve fallen in love with walking – for hours – my fav’ place to walk is Richmond Park, this is major selfcare and “time out” for me.  

Follow Georgina on insta below…
Insta link: https://www.instagram.com/peckhammum/
1) Mum Hacks: Tips and trips for making life easier
As a mum of three (!) and wife to a Professional (World Champion, no less) Kick boxer – of course the first hack that comes to mind has something to do with the bane of my life…LAUNDRY. Ergh. The word even gives me shudders. Of all my accomplishments in life, having an empty laundry basket fills me with ultimate MUM GOAL vibes. Anyway, I digress –
Hack 1: the sun, not only makes us instantly feel better and more glowy and beautiful but it’s the best for getting out newborn shit stains. How many baby grows are you guilty of throwing away because they had a huge yellow splodge that wouldn’t budge? Give the babygrow a rinse in cold water (with a bit of washing up liquid if you’re feeling fancy) and simply pop the babygrow outside in direct sunlight – and like magic, the stain disappears.
Hack 2: for older kids that play sports (or husband’s that go to the gym a lot (try 4 times a day, 6 days a week in this house…)) a scoop full of bicarbonate of soda, is the best addition to your wash to get rid of any lingering damp/stinky armpit smells.


2) The secret life of mums: Confessions from the trenches
Not so much a confession, but more a “must” – once you have a baby it’s so easy to loose yourself and your identity – I’ve been there, pretty certain we’ve all grieved our pre parent (have a lie-in till 1pm) selves at some stage. Third baby in, and this time round the “bounce back” (not in loosing baby weight – I wish!) has been so much more powerful – I’m confident in who I am, what I stand for, my priorities, my choices – and my wardrobe. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been – because I’m so concentrated on me. I surround myself with energy boosters. Actually, on reflection, I haven’t bounced back – I’ve evolved.

3) The best and worst advice mums have received
I trained as a doula (although currently, I’ve put that career on hold) and the word “advice” is a bit of a trigger for my doula brain! Doula’s don’t give advice – they encourage clients to use their b.r.a.i.n.s to make informed choices (acronym for: benefits, risks, alternatives, intuition, nothing). If I had to choose..the best advice would be something my husband has said to me countless times, “set boundaries and don’t be afraid to say “no” if you don’t want to do something.” It’s something I’ve really put in to practice since having our youngest son.
The worst advice, for me personally (after giving birth) would be “don’t worry about the mess, sleep when the baby’s sleeping” I can’t relax if our house is a pig sty – my brain would be way more relaxed, and in turn, I would feel more content if I spent that time tidying my space – we are all individuals, the most important thing is to do what works best for US.

4) Mumfessions: embarrassing moments from parenthood
I know there are a million embarrassing moments, probably because the kids are at an age now, where they’re brutally honest about everything – no filters at all...which at times can be pretty toe curlingly embarrassing. I’m still breastfeeding, and being at a work meeting, or a cool brand’s PR event and my milk soaking through my top, still makes me all hot and flustered – although it usually ends up as a bonding tool, as guaranteed at least one other parent in the room can sympathise!

5) Parenting fails: when things dont go as planned
A couple of evenings ago – after eating dinner, the baby was having some nappy off time, crawling around the front room before bed. The rest of us were still sitting at the dining table, catching up on the day etc … 5 or so minutes later, my eldest son went to join his little brother on the floor and immediately starting shouting “NO ROBIN!! NO ROBIN!!”
Intrigued, I went over to see what was happening… Robin has done a poo on the floor, and was picking the sweetcorn out of his log – and eating it. EPIC FAIL.


6) The truth about potty training: A mum’s perspective
I potty trained my daughter (she’s almost 5 now) during lockdown. We were all indoors for months – and the first thing I brought was a potty. I didn’t put any pressure on her at all – she naturally just started sitting and weeing on the potty. As with everything children related, consistency is the key – just keep at it. Also, children’s milestones are often a competition amongst parents – battle of the “who walked/used the potty/counted to 5 in French first” don’t fall in to that pressure circle. You’ll know when you’re both ready.


7) The mum squad: finding your tribe in the world of parenthood
I lead such a busy life that I find it really hard to sync diaries with a lot of my friends that have children. I’m guilty of making plans and then either cancelling or one of us completely forgets that we had a date in the diary – so last minute “hey babes, what you up to today/tomorrow” plans usually work best for me. My true friends don’t take me cancelling or my ‘not seeing them for 6months’ personally – when we do meet up, we pick up where we left off and there is no animosity or hard feelings. This ties in to the ‘boundaries and people pleasing advice’ I mentioned above – I’ve learned to prioritise myself, my family and my work commitments and sadly, that doesn’t leave time for a whole lot else – I’m extremely fortunate and blessed that I’m happiest when I’m with the people that live within my four walls.

8) Mum’s night out: the Importance of self care and fun.
I’m a bit of a boring bastard – I don’t get out and socialise or “have fun” how other’s would perceive to be the conventional way, very often. Robin is almost one, although he eats food now – he falls to sleep on my boob every night and I prioritise him each and every time. I don’t enjoy my time out otherwise, knowing he’s distressed. Instead I try to arrange daytime plans (brunch/lunch etc). This year I’ve been consistent with my fitness regime, and holding myself accountable, and I’ve fallen in love with walking – for hours – my fav’ place to walk is Richmond Park, this is major selfcare and “time out” for me.

​Time to talk openly about Mental Health it said but hasn’t that been done and continues to be done all the time I said with an air of scepticism in my thoughts. Maybe because I work in a large corporate organisation and have the resources and work groups to promote positive wellbeing, I am getting a little complacent about this topic in 2022. I feel that most of us are already on the self-help journey by now and that stigma that I encountered literally on a daily basis when I started the biggest role that I was ever going to undertake, being a parent many years ago, has somewhat subsided. As I sit here now reflecting on the recent Mothers Meeting event some 24 hours later it continues to raise many questions for me…..whilst everyone’s ‘hard’ is different have I really addressed all that learned behaviour and mistakes that I made during my twenties and thirties that I still have many regrets about.   Have I really forgiven myself and others for some very dark, tough times that I call my ‘hard’. Do I need to go to that safe space again of Lucy who has been my therapist for many years now…..maybe, maybe.
So, its Monday morning and I have already spent most of Sunday night and all of Monday morning thinking about what I am going to wear to the Mothers Meeting Event that is being held at the amazingly cool Stratford Hotel in East London.  Who is going to talk to me and what interesting things do I have to talk about, those thoughts have taken over yet again and with a quick goodbye to home I set off to hopefully see and meet some friendly women just like me. It doesn’t matter how many of these meetings I have been too I still stand at the bottom of the stairs and give myself a talking to ……for god’s sake Cara you are a 40 something, strong, successful, resilient women get in there!!!!  and you are quite a good mother who somehow has managed to raise 3 decent human beings, you have shit to share.    Up the stairs I go and of course I immediately feel at home.  A few familiar faces come to say hello and new faces introduce themselves like only women can in order to make other women feel welcomed. We all have each other’s back immediately. I know it sounds like a cliché, but this space is where women encourage other women, where candid discussions take place, where women can be vulnerable and show strength at the same time.   And that certainly was the theme for this meeting.
The panel was certainly one not to miss, Jenny has pulled it out of the bag for this one.   As I sat there waiting for the discussions to start, I wondered what back stories these ladies were going to share with us and how guarded would they be with such a large following watching their every move.   Yet again I am proved wrong and as soon as Caroline Watson starts talking, I hear myself saying god how brave is she to give up her life pre-children to be fully present in her new life as a mother.   To say Caroline’s work life was glamourous is an understatement, she was an incredible stylist working with one of the largest boy bands in the world, she travelled the word with them and experienced things that only I can dream of but one day made the brave decision to give it all up.   Yep, she came off social media, left her 138k followers and after many years of dedicating her time to make others happy now was the time to make time for Caroline and her children.   Make money or look after your mental health.   Make money or spend time with the children at the beach.  Make money or being present and engaged with the children.    It’s a no brainer, right?  Of course, this isn’t for everyone and some of us are not able to do this with the ever-increasing financial commitments that we work to pay each month and with total honesty Caroline emphasized that her financial pot did take quite a knock, but it was what she wanted to do and knew that the time was right for her.  That decision making and bravery was quite empowering. Could I be that brave?  Am I selfish for wanting the luxury’s that my salary gave me?    If I asked my children, would they have preferred me to be around and present more, would they have wanted me to have attended every school event and been there every day for school pick up’s and drop off’s…maybe, probably.   But the room continues to listen to Caroline and be motivated by her story of the digital switch off and how she now fills those gaps where they would have been filled with another hour lost by scrolling…we have all been there.  Caroline reads, reflects, enjoys her own quiet time, spends time in her garden, watches her children paint and the reward of seeing their little faces at the school gates is enough for her to know that this breakup was the right thing to do.  Caroline now has the head space to build her new business venture called the The Paperwork Club which quite frankly I want a job there if the culture is as refreshing as Caroline. 
Next up on the panel is a lady that I have followed for some time on Instagram, Cat Simms aka @notsosmugnow.  I am not sure what drew me to Cat a couple of years ago when at the time I thought we didn’t share that much in common but as I have followed her journey over the last 18months I feel like we are best friends who understand each other even though we have never met.  Sounds ridiculous I know.   Why, because again of this common theme I am realising today, bravery and self-awareness. As I sit and listen to Cat it comes to me that it doesn’t matter what job you do or industry you are in or if you are taking time out to be the best parent you can be at let’s face the toughest role you will ever take on, the strength that these ladies are sharing today is relevant to us all.  Cat exudes real life, no BS honesty about her feelings when her little girl was born and how this led to post-natal depression to the experience of couples counselling with her husband Jimmy to her well documented path to sobriety. I find myself sitting absolutely fixated on Cat’s story nodding away as if I am one of those nodding dogs sitting on the mantelpiece. Cat has the ability to explain how her behaviour reflects the learned behaviour she has grown up with and how this shapes us as adults in a way that the whole room can relate to. Cat discusses how we are often scared to revisit trauma that has happened in our lives and how she defines trauma as simple as having a baby.  Yes, at last!   It is traumatic and not all bunny rabbits and rainbows and love at first sight.  Its OK to admit that and to say you found it hard. But was does finally break the ice queen within me is her refection on her route to sobriety.   The realisation that addiction isn’t the stereotypical image you have of some down and out who could have made better life choices.  Addiction comes in all shapes, sizes and forms and takes over us in different ways but Cat showed us all that with a huge amount of vulnerability and  self-awareness  what the addiction was doing to her and the discipline and strength she somehow gathers every day, she is taking accountability and owning her shit without resentment.  Her words not mine and God they are powerful words. 
Finally, the floor was opened up to Holly Matthews aka @iamhollymatthews and all I knew about Holly was she started out in Byker Grove and did a few episodes of casualty. What I didn’t know was, Holly is now a life coach with a huge emphasis on being pragmatic and real. Total no nonsense stuff which is perfect for me.   Holly let us into her life as a teenager and how her mental health experience started at a very early age of 14. Living her teenage years working in TV, Holly was taught to believe that being made up was the way she was to present herself she was routinely told that her appearance wasn’t good enough and this led to her mental health deteriorating. Holly described how she spent years pretending to be someone she wasn’t so people liked her and this was something that made me sad about my younger self as I was sitting listening and my mind again wondered to my own challenges. Thank God my daughter has the confidence to be her authentic self I thought. As Holly continued to talk suddenly with raw openness, she describes the bombshell news that her husband was diagnosed with an incurable brain tumour. The strength at which she detailed this time in her life and the resilience it has given her was remarkable. Her words were inspirational, there she was with two small children and a husband fighting her his life and she still found time to be selfless.  Holly wanted to share her experience with others who were going through the same fight.   Holly shares a wonderful insight into how when you slow down and scale back your lives become richer. Holly’s experience and drive to help others find their way enabled her to start her own business ‘My Happy Me Project’.  The ethos behind my Happy Me Project is self-development doesn’t have to be fancy. You don’t have to be a certain kind of person to be happy and create a life you love – you can be a person who’s been through trauma, loss, sadness and grief and you can take all that hardship and still have a fabulous life. I hope that people who are in a similar position can see Holly as hope, as someone who wasn’t and isn’t willing for sadness to be her whole life.    Thank you, Holly, for sharing your story.  I feel very privileged to have been able to hear it.
I keep hearing the phrase ‘find your tribe’ and I am not sure I have found mine yet, but I do know that  the women in the room at The Stratford Hotel were my people.  They reminded me that I must be kind to me.  Its ok to put yourself, your piece of mind and desires before others.     We are all Human and we all make Human mistakes.  The powerful thing is owning that mistake and who you are and moving on without guilt….isn’t that right girls x - Cara Morris 

Cat Walther, Words and Thread
T: 07530 471 190 | www.wordsandthread.co.uk


Hope this does the trick...

Flodesk (https://flodesk.com/c/WORDSTHREAD)
Anyone sick of hearing me go on about Flodesk yet? This email platform is the best combination of beautiful and functional. It gives you email templates and forms that are easy and quick to set up, and allows you to create functional workflows and manage your audience in a sensible way.
Top Tip: keep on top of your designs by using folders, so you can easily duplicate an email instead of starting from scratch.

17Hats (https://referrals.17hats.com/)
If you have a service based business, you need 17Hats. It's that simple!
This Customer Relationship Manager (CRM) helps you to keep track of your leads and clients with a simple dashboard and interface, create a workflow with templated emails, and all the while it applies your branding so it looks really elegant too.
It's easy to upload and edit your contracts, create a quote, allow your potential client to book a call with you via its scheduler, and send an invoice automatically.
It can't make you a tea. That's about all it can't do.
Top Tip: Take advantage of the tutorials that are included in the dashboard, and take it step by step.

Otter (https://otter.ai/)
Otter transcribes audio - but it does it in the most accurate way I have found so far.
What's really clever is it will save the audio, so you can easily edit and check the wording against the audio as you work, saving so much time.
Top Tip: Connect it up to your calendar and it will add your appointments, so you can instantly start meeting notes.

1Password (https://1password.com/)
No one has time to manage passwords, but also no one has time to deal with the fallout of a security breach. The best automations mean you are you on your best day, and so it is with 1Password.
Simple to set up, the end.
Top Tip: Utilise the notes section for info like your National Insurance number and Passport number

PopClip (https://pilotmoon.com/popclip/)
One for the Mac users - PopClip appears when you select text with your mouse on your Mac. Instantly copy & paste, and access actions like search, spelling, dictionary and over 200 more. Incredible - one that you will wonder how you ever did without it.
Top Tip: Add the extensions for your most used tools, and you can instantly select text and create a new note or entry in Bear or DayOne. 

quillbot (https://quillbot.com/)
this is a quality tool, it takes your sentences, switches them up, makes them sound more natural - so you can chuck your  factual practical product description in for example, and it will turn it into an easy to read revised natural piece of writing!
Top Tip: It also has a grammar check, and a summariser tool to sift through long reports and writing to give you just the key points.

Zapier (https://zapier.com/)
The ultimate entry level automation tool. With thousands of templates to give you an easy starting point, Zapier will save you hours every week - no matter what is slowing you down.
How about notifying someone in slack every time someone completes a form, or adding their details to a google sheet without lifting a finger?
Maybe you'd like your new blog post content to be saved in a spreadsheet so it can be used to create social media content?
Top Tip: start small, you can have 5 automations a month for free.




BIO;
Cat Walther is a self confessed systems nerd with a loud laugh. After 10 years of supporting CEOs & Directors everywhere from Brisbane to the London Olympics to the most prestigious property developer in Mayfair, she now helps women run their service based businesses.
A trained copywriter, facilitator and designer, her favourite work thing is listening and helping out.
She lives in Hove with her husband and 3 kids. Naturally, she drinks a lot (of coffee).

​‘If I could give my kids one thing, it would be freedom: freedom to choose styles that show their individuality, and freedom to move around comfortably and to have fun,’ explains Alison McAleavy, founder of Zig + Star. ‘Why can’t boys be free to wear animal prints and metallics, and why do girls have to wear shoes they can’t climb trees or run fast in?’ That’s the ethos behind her gorgeous new footwear brand, approved by podiatrists and styled with years of experience working for some of the fashion world’s hottest brands.
After working for more than 20 years in fashion, starting in footwear for some of the biggest names on the high street and culminating as head of buying for Topshop, London-based designer Alison spotted a huge gap in the market while on maternity leave with her son, Ziggy. 

​---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So it’s 14 weeks since I’ve launched Zig+Star… the idea I’d been working on for 2 years… starting in very normal times, but taking in some very surreal times too..
14 weeks sounds like the blink of an eye… but it feels like a lifetime

So what have a learnt in that time??

Every single customer makes it all worthwhile
That ping sound you get for a sale never gets old… don’t get me wrong, its not because of the money… but because it’s a little bit of encouragement that comes at just the right time when you might be doubting yourself, or questioning what your doing. Starting a business on your own can be a lonely place and every customer email, sale, recommendation feels like a lifeline.
I feel so thankful for every single follow, like, comment… All of it is a validation that you’re on the right track and to keep going even when it feels like a hard slog.
Thank-you to everyone that has supported our small biz so far, I hope you stay on this journey with us.


You have to learn to roll with the punches
So we launched mid March… the reaction blew me away… the sales were coming in, I was growing on instagram, there was great customer feedback, everything felt so positive.
And then…. It rained for 3 weeks… and iron’t just mean it rained a bit… it poured every day from morning to night. My poor old 80’s conservatory couldn’t cope, and we had at least 6 bowls out to catch the rain.
It was hard not to think back to last year… yes we were in lockdown, but we basically had long balmy days from April to September.
So with the rain came quiet weeks… yes it’s raining you think, but maybe people just don’t like what we’re doing? Maybe there’s something we need to change or do differently. All these questions go through your head, and when you work alone, as `I do, they can dominate your thoughts. 
But roll on a few weeks later, the sun came back (for now) and so did the sales… You learn not to take the lows to heart… and it’s the same with the highs. There will be good weeks and bad weeks. You just need to stick to your mission and your instinct and keep pushing forward.

Instagram isn’t as bad as I thought
Before I started the brand, I wasn’t really into social media. I never posted, but would only go on for a bit of a nose. The idea of posting about myself and the brand sort of freaked me out. The thing that really shifted my mindset was doing Lucy Sheridan’s Good Gram course. I started to think about instagram as a community (it is a “social”network after all). I just had to find my tribe. And once I started thinking and interacting in that way, it didn’t feel like work… It felt like a support network, whether it be other small brands, or people that took the time to encourage you. 
Yes it can be time consuming and a bit arduous sometimes, but the more consideration your put in, the more you get out of it, and it’s been an absolute godsend to a small lockdown business like mine.

But IRL is even better
Even without the lockdown we’ve had, I think a lot of small Ecom businesses like mine operate pretty much 100% virtually… We don’t have shops, most of us don’t have teams or offices… It’s just us and our laptops living through Shopify and social media (and the Mothers Meeting gang which has been a lifeline). But still, having in real life conversations with people other than delivery drivers has been rare.
The best thing I did was to start doing local London deliveries to customers… I can honestly say it’s been the best part of the job. Meeting customers, having a chat, getting direct feedback… it’s been amazing. I have learnt more from a 5 minute chit-chat on someones doorstep than I have from the many hours of market research googling I have done.

Work with people you’d want to hang out with
I launched with one stockist (thank-you at Windmill shoes in Crouch End!) but as soon as the restrictions allowed, I got out to meet new potential stockists… I wasn’t in the market for trying to flog the brand to anyone, but it wasn’t about exclusivity. It was about finding people I could partner with… People that appreciated what we were trying to do with Zig+Star and we could collaborate with. I have 5 stockists now, and every single one is totally lovely. The feedback and support I get from them is amazing at this early stage of our journey and will help us grown and develop as a brand. Thank you to Word Store London, Luna&Curious, What Mother Made and Jump shoes for all your support.
And when the time comes to hopefully expanding my little team of one, I will take that with me. Working with people who mirror your values, who you trust, and and who you like spending time with… that’s the ultimate goal

Thank-you to everyone, both professionally and personally, who have supported and helped develop the business so far… It means the world.

Love
Ali
x

Clicking Share


When my husband and I launched our business, KeepEmQuiet.com back in 2016, I went from a private Instagram to a public one, to connect and network and help to spread the word about our new venture, in what at the time was a mainly female blogging space. As time went on I started sharing more and more about me personally. About my grief on losing my Mum to breast cancer at 27. About Mental Illness, with a family history of depression, bipolar, and suicide attempts. About my eating disorder in my teens and body issues. I started to realise that connecting with people on this deeper level and sharing my story felt right, even if it helped just one person then it was worth it to be vulnerable and honest. I have always found writing a cathartic, therapeutic experience. 




In October 2019, I stripped to a pink bra to raise awareness for Breast Cancer Awareness Month having lost my beautiful Mum to the disease, just as she lost hers whom I never met (I’m hanging out the top window!). One month later, aged 37, I was diagnosed myself. For 6 months I had not mentioned online about my older sister’s Ovarian cancer diagnosis. It was not my story to tell and so I had lived and breathed cancer for 6 months whilst my Instagram told a different story. And now, here I was, with my own diagnosis. Do I silently just go quiet and knuckle down with treatment or invite others along for the maddest ride of my life? For over a week, my family and I got our heads around the diagnosis. I told friends. I had tests. And we celebrated our baby girl turning 4 in amongst the agonising upheaval of all that lay ahead. And then on Sunday evening, I wrote the words “I have breast cancer” and clicked share. The support and outpouring of love was immediately overwhelming and filled me with strength. 




My intentions with sharing my journey have always been to spread awareness for Breast Cancer and get people to check their boobs and know what to look for. Back in October, before my diagnosis, the message was loud and clear…Early detection is key. And here I was living proof that early detection is key. Stage 2, Grade 3 Triple Negative Breast Cancer with a BRCA1 gene mutation. Stage 1 and 2 are considered early. Grades refer to the aggressive nature of the disease. Early stages and aggressive, so I faced an aggressive treatment plan, and radical surgery due to the gene, but things were looking positive. Due to some chunky painful lymph nodes which I discovered on a chemo ward with my sister, I immediately booked to see my GP and within a week of finding them I had a diagnosis. My early detection likely has saved my life. 

Clicking share meant that I have shared my cancer journey much like I would writing in a diary. Initially I went into warrior mode, as my therapist put it. Very few tears but a strong positive mental attitude. People resonated with the positivity. Positivity is contagious. I have found sharing my more vulnerable moments way harder. Not wanting to make anyone feel sorry for me. But just honouring that I have opened myself up to sharing the highs and lows of my breast cancer journey, and this chapter of my life, and therefore the lows are par the course. And there have been some of the highest highs and lowest lows. Some days I’ve felt like I’ve had nothing to give, riddled with fatigue, chemo fog & relentless negativity. Those are the hard days where I feel like perhaps sharing my journey may hinder the help I was wanting to give people. As the realities of cancer can be very, very ugly. 

Recently I have really struggled with the loss of most of my hair, after retaining it for 12 cycles of chemo, at the last hurdle and with the stronger chemo that I am now on, the AC, it has taken a hit. A physical adjustment to this has been hard. Looking more unwell.  Changing for my husband and my children. I have cut my hair shorter but so far still managing to retain some hair with the use of the dreaded cold cap, which although dreaded, I would recommend to anyone to try that would like to attempt to keep some hair. The first ten minutes are impossibly hard, and as my hair has thinned I have started to take a Lorazapam to chill me out for these 10 minutes, as they make me pretty nauseas, but after these initial 10 minutes I find the whole process way easier. I’m very glad I have stuck with it, and although I have very little hair left, I will continue to cold cap for my last session to retain what is left. I’m grateful to the device that allowed me to feel like me for as long as it did. That is for sure. 




On a more positive note, I have found that sharing my story has been a vehicle to allow a lot of people that care about me an insight in to what is going on with me, and to a degree has meant that I am not repeating myself, which when exhausted from the treatment and two little children, can be a relief. Although at times, the pressure I have put on myself to share has felt a little heavy and this has made me look at my personality and reflect and take stock.  

And the highest points throughout sharing my cancer diaries have absolutely been the messages I have received in my DM’s from people who have checked out pains, and lumps, that they had previously ignored, and that they have had the incredible relief to find out that they are benign. Those messages make the sharing so, so worth it. And the messages to say that by sharing my experience I have helped others going through their own cancer journeys. It is totally true what they say, a problem shared is a problem halved. Which brings me to the point that if you have gotten this far, please do me one favour and check your boobs immediately. Don’t be scared, get to know your body, and get to the GP if you have any concerns. I felt like I was wasting everyone’s time as I waited to have my ultrasound. Please, please know that checking your health is NEVER wasting anyone’s time. Doctor’s get a whole lot more joy from telling you that you have nothing, than telling you that you have something. Please CHECK YOUR BOOBS.  

I have connected with so many wonderful people in the cancer community through sharing online. It truly helps you to feel less alone. I have no shortage of wonderful friends, family and loved ones who only have my best interests at heart, but chatting with someone who truly knows the ins and outs of breast cancer, chemo, and so many fears that come with being told you have cancer, has lifted me through some dark times and I am truly grateful I clicked share to have connected with these warrior women. 

A cancer diagnosis flips your world in an instant. It gives you a perspective for all that you want your life to be if you can get to the other side of it. I’m nearing that side now, and I’m so driven to live to my fullest, my healthiest, my best me. I have never ever been more convinced that all that truly matters is that we have our health and our loved ones. Fundamentally this is the true basis of happiness, and having cancer has made me reflect on all the beauty that love and health can allow in. True healing: it’s a journey, but that is the one destination I have on my horizon. 

My cancer diagnosis may just be the catalyst to stop living in dis ease and start to live in harmony. I know that clicking share was the right decision for me and I am forever grateful to everyone that has joined me for this mad rollercoaster ride. We are almost off this crazy train, and I’ve never been more ready to start living at the destination. 




(This blog was written just before my final chemo but here is the happiest most joyous picture straight after my final chemo session with my best cheerleaders – my family!) 

@carly_keepemquiet @keepemquiet
www.keepemquiet.com 

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I am Laura Abba, mother of two young and intense girls (20m and 3y and half), and as a Cognitive Hypnotherapist and Maternal Coach I run Mind the Mother, a safe space for mothers and mother to be to feel better. And there has always been the debate about luck, even with the mums I see. Because people “are” lucky or “are not” lucky. Like if it was the universe that flipped the coin and decided that for you. And where is your responsibility in all these? Is just the universe’s fault your luck? Whilst I do believe that there’s no freedom of choice, I also believe that I won’t be conditioned by that, or by whether the universe has assigned me any luck or not. Having said that, I believe that you own your own luck.
As a Cognitive Hypnotherapist, I work a lot with people’s unconscious minds. I know that we can rewire our brains to more of what we like. And with that comes our luck. I will introduce a few concepts for you to absorb, in your own time, for the penny to drop
*  Your luck is conditioned by the positive or negative outlook of the world you have.
There are several studies done on luck. And they conclude that lucky people are more prone to see the positives in the same situation an unlucky person would see the negatives. A study done by Richard Wiseman1 asked a group of people to count the photographs in a newspaper, the unlucky people took in average 2 minutes. Whereas the lucky ones just a few seconds as on the second page there was a message saying “stop counting there are 43 photographs in this newspaper”.
What this means, is that you need to train your mind to look for the positives. When you find yourself only seeing negatives, think again, what are the positives?

*  The mind works on what you feed it
What the thinker thinks, the prover proves. You mind only knows what you expose it to. The more you expose it to negative outcomes, the more negative outcomes you will get, as that's what your mind will know.
Be conscious of what you feed to your mind, and you will get more of that for your life.

*  Be social
Lucky people don’t just run into people by chance. They make the chance by being there. I am not talking only about business. It is important to put yourself out there to expand your life. If you are single you might meet someone; you might meet a friend for life; you might actually be the person that can help somebody else. The possibilities are endless. Show up, be social.
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*  Be a change factor
Try a random act of kindness or plan it. It doesn’t matter. What it matters is that these good deeds are contagious, and in one way or another, they get back to you. It is a good way to give something to the universe and put a little gamble on your luck for it.
 
Many mums I see, come with low confidence, thinking that they can’t build their luck and compare themselves to others. With Cognitive Hypnotherapy the results come from within, taking ownership and being able to trust the process. Within the first session, most of the mums say that they feel more relaxed. From there, we can work on what they want, including their luck.
If you want to know how Cognitive Hypnotherapy and Maternal Coaching can help you, contact me or book your free insight call in here
 
Laura Abba
DipCHyp, NLPP, HPD, NCH (Reg)
Cognitive Hypnotherapist & Maternal Coach
https://www.mindthemother.com
 
1 Richard Wiseman, author of The Luck Factor

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​When Jenny Scott became a mum, she didn't want to give up the rest of her identity and everything she loved doing. She created Mothers Meeting to meet like-minded women and remind the community that there's a world outside motherhood See less

watch the video here