Founder of NUZLIN
Before I had my first baby Sam, I had high aspirations for maternity leave. I envisaged long productive days. My baby sleeping calmly next to me while I sipped on a coffee and plotted entrepreneurial success on my MacBook.
Well, it didn’t quite work out like that. Reality hit with a wave of dirty nappies, snotty kisses, washing (all the washing) and previously unexperienced love. I didn’t have time to shower never mind launch a business.
Before I knew it, my first maternity leave had whizzed by and I was back in the office. I had the idea for NUZLIN starting to develop in my mind. Plus I knew that I wasn’t going to continue working non-stop for someone else.
But that was it. It was a dream but nothing substantial enough to launch or live from.
3 years later, I have managed to launch that little idea. It’s a baby business, launched in a pandemic. It’s not yet clear if it’ll survive the craziness of the world right now. But I am so intensely proud of what I’ve managed to achieve in just making something happen.
So here are my biggest learnings that have got me this far:
Change What You Can
Working full time on my business idea hasn’t been an option. I wouldn’t be able to make enough money from a start up to financially support our family.
If I couldn’t quit everything straight away, I started to think about other smaller changes I could make straight away. I ended up quitting my permanent job and going freelance, which has been one of the best decisions of my life. I have no job security, health insurance or pension. But I have much greater freedom to choose how, when and with who I work.
Going freelance might not be the change you need. But there are always choices, which can start to edge you towards your dream. If a big change isn’t an option, find a small change that edges you towards your ultimate destination.
A Small Step Is Better Than Nothing
I’ve never had a 3 year plan. I struggle to think about what I’ll be doing in 6 months. I roll with the punches rather than trying to set an ultimate direction.
So trying to write a business plan was a struggle – I became overwhelmed with everything I’d need to do and all the skills I’d need to learn. It seemed ridiculous that I could do all of this around work and children.
So instead of trying to do things in the right way, I focused on the things I needed to do right now. Everyday I wake up and write down the 1 thing I need to do that will make the greatest difference. Everything and everyone else has to wait.
These tiny steps don’t feel like much at all - but after a couple of months you can see your progress. And eventually you will get there.
Find Yourself A Network of People Who Get It
Finding a group of women to support and inspire you when you’re aiming for something new is invaluable. Friends and family who’ll talk through your ideas with you and give you the honest feedback you don’t want to hear. Friends you can make online who will support you from afar having never met you in person.
In particular, seeing the progress of other women in the Mothers Meeting group has helped me understand I’m not alone in this. It’s hard, it’s a struggle but it’s 100% possible. Practical, no bullshit advice from women who have successfully set up their own businesses is more useful than generic business advice.
So if you’re looking to make a change after having a baby or already on your way, I wish you all the luck in the world. Whatever that change might be, I hope it brings you positivity and joy. And remember, there’s a group of women who are making it happen, so you can too.
I have been rattling my brain with trying to come up with a blog that isn’t half boring. But who knows you may well feel that way about this. Anyhoo! I thought I would start at the most obvious topic for me…. SEX! Why on earth is the word SEX still so controversial? Why is it in 2020 (and boy that’s been a crazy year to say the least) that we shy away from openly talking about SEX. Why is it that it comes with shame, embarrassment, and fear of not being good enough? I mean, I could on with the list but clearly this fairly negative.
But before I do that, I guess I should tell you who I am? My name is Manolee and I decided a long time ago that becoming a sex therapist would be a pretty awesome profession.
There is something fun about going to a party and meeting someone for the first time and them finding out you’re a sex therapist. Trust me I have heard it all, most people want to know that wildest thing I have heard. Well what is wild first of all? And of course I would never break client therapist confidentially.
So here’s the thing I am not like the sex therapist in ‘Meet the Fockers’ massages a part of some ones body and unlocks some hidden sex button that gets them going again. Trust me if I had that I would use that.
I’d like to think I help people to work through sexual difficulties that come up for them individually or when they are in a relationship. This excludes working through psychological or physiology difficulties (Your GP will be able to take the lead on that) but, it’s interesting don’t you think? We are taught most things in our life. Yet, its one of the things that brought us on to this planet? Much of teaching is limited at school and done through experience. Most it is fairly negative not really showing the side of pleasure and fun. Often people come to see me, when they are really in crisis and desperate for things to change. So if your worried that you will have to take your clothes off in therapy, please be assured that I wont even ask you to take your coat off. No one should have to suffer uncomfortable sex in silence. Please don’t, you really don’t have be silent.
I really believe sex can pleasurable, positive and fun for everyone.
BY SEX TALKING MAMA
How could you become luckier?
I am Laura Abba, mother of two young and intense girls (20m and 3y and half), and as a Cognitive Hypnotherapist and Maternal Coach I run Mind the Mother, a safe space for mothers and mother to be to feel better. And there has always been the debate about luck, even with the mums I see. Because people “are” lucky or “are not” lucky. Like if it was the universe that flipped the coin and decided that for you. And where is your responsibility in all these? Is just the universe’s fault your luck? Whilst I do believe that there’s no freedom of choice, I also believe that I won’t be conditioned by that, or by whether the universe has assigned me any luck or not. Having said that, I believe that you own your own luck.
As a Cognitive Hypnotherapist, I work a lot with people’s unconscious minds. I know that we can rewire our brains to more of what we like. And with that comes our luck. I will introduce a few concepts for you to absorb, in your own time, for the penny to drop
* Your luck is conditioned by the positive or negative outlook of the world you have.
There are several studies done on luck. And they conclude that lucky people are more prone to see the positives in the same situation an unlucky person would see the negatives. A study done by Richard Wiseman1 asked a group of people to count the photographs in a newspaper, the unlucky people took in average 2 minutes. Whereas the lucky ones just a few seconds as on the second page there was a message saying “stop counting there are 43 photographs in this newspaper”.
What this means, is that you need to train your mind to look for the positives. When you find yourself only seeing negatives, think again, what are the positives?
* The mind works on what you feed it
What the thinker thinks, the prover proves. You mind only knows what you expose it to. The more you expose it to negative outcomes, the more negative outcomes you will get, as that's what your mind will know.
Be conscious of what you feed to your mind, and you will get more of that for your life.
* Be social
Lucky people don’t just run into people by chance. They make the chance by being there. I am not talking only about business. It is important to put yourself out there to expand your life. If you are single you might meet someone; you might meet a friend for life; you might actually be the person that can help somebody else. The possibilities are endless. Show up, be social.
* Be a change factor
Try a random act of kindness or plan it. It doesn’t matter. What it matters is that these good deeds are contagious, and in one way or another, they get back to you. It is a good way to give something to the universe and put a little gamble on your luck for it.
Many mums I see, come with low confidence, thinking that they can’t build their luck and compare themselves to others. With Cognitive Hypnotherapy the results come from within, taking ownership and being able to trust the process. Within the first session, most of the mums say that they feel more relaxed. From there, we can work on what they want, including their luck.
If you want to know how Cognitive Hypnotherapy and Maternal Coaching can help you, contact me or book your free insight call in here
DipCHyp, NLPP, HPD, NCH (Reg)
Cognitive Hypnotherapist & Maternal Coach
1 Richard Wiseman, author of The Luck Factor