A summer holiday survival guide by twin mum and leading life coach Alice Rickard Website: www.themotherofmind.com Instagram: @motherofmind Let’s be honest… as much as we all love our children, the summer holidays can fill us with dread. Endless weeks of juggling, entertaining, spending, and coordinating. And to top it all off, during the longest days of the year. The tiny little squares of the calendar suddenly seem to have expanded. How the hell am I going to get through this? What am I going to do with them? How am I going to get my work done? These recurring yearly thoughts echo around the minds of mothers EVERYWHERE. As a self-employed, twin mother, living in London, I get it! It’s a lot. I’m sure you've already been bombarded by endless WhatsApps stating who is doing what, which camp is the best, and the top days out for your children, which personally just fuels the anxiety and comparisonitis we mothers can often feel. This guide is not about them. It’s about you. Let me take you from surviving to thriving on the countdown journey to September. Here are my THREE top tips when it comes to managing the summer holidays: PREPARE. PRIORITIZE. PRIZE. PREPARE If you can win the first 5 minutes of your day, you can win the first hour. If you can win the first hour, you can win the day. How you start your day will determine whether you will respond or react to whatever the day throws at you. If you can start your day calmly with some breathwork or even set an intention for how you want to feel that day, you are literally guiding your central nervous system on how to feel. I am aware this sounds wishy-washy, but trust me, this works! It is the difference between me taking a beat to quietly respond to my children fighting over who is getting in the car first or screaming at them and slamming the door. When we start our day by scrolling our phones, checking the gram, or some overactive WhatsApp group, we are telling our brains, ‘Hey, this is how you are going to get your dopamine today,’ and your brain is going to search for it throughout the rest of the day. When we give it calm and peace, our brains search for more of that. We literally instruct ourselves on how the day will go. Before you cuss me out with the ‘well, your children clearly don’t jump on top of your bed at 5 am demanding their iPads’ - they do! And when they do, those are the days it is even more paramount that I prepare my mindset. If you are starting the day thinking this is going to be sh1t. Your mind LOVES to be right, so it is probably gonna be sh1t. You don’t need long, you don’t need crystals and candles and some whole meditation ritual. You need to lock yourself in the loo for 5 mins while you sit your children in front of the TV and do these three things. 1. BREATHE - Start your day by calming your central nervous system with 5 really long, slow, deep breaths. 2. INTENTION - Set your intention for the day. This is honestly the difference between existing and living. Is it to be calm? Is it to be present? Is it to be fun mum? Is it to be organized? Give your mind directions. 3. QUESTION - The quality of your life is determined by the quality of the questions you ask yourself. What do I need to do today to make today a success? What do I need to do today to make me feel happy? PRIORITIZE Something I had to learn the hard way when I became a mother was understanding the IMPORTANCE of prioritizing myself. As a mother, prioritizing yourself is so important for both the well-being of your family and your sanity. It may seem counterintuitive at times, as your natural instinct is to put your children's needs first, but it is essential for both your energy levels and emotional capacity to survive listening to the same song on repeat in your car for 8 weeks. Prioritizing yourself doesn't mean neglecting your children; rather, it involves carving out moments for yourself. It doesn’t matter what that time entails, but make sure it's something that brings you energy. What do I mean by that? Going for a walk listening to a podcast that makes you laugh, rather than scrolling a feed on the sofa that makes you feel inferior. Spending time with someone that makes you belly laugh so hard it tests your pelvic floor, versus someone who sucks the life out of you. Whatever it is, it should feel great. By nurturing yourself, you set a positive example for your children, teaching them the value of self-love, balance, and resilience. You know the classic saying men have “happy wife, happy life” - I like to remind this one to my children: ‘A mum that has rest is the mum that’s the best.’ PRIZE Hear me out. A lot of jobs give you a commission-based bonus. A lot of tough endurance races give you a medal. It’s a supportive way to acknowledge your performance. How often do you acknowledge your performance as a mother? How often do you say, ‘Do you know what I really nailed that meltdown, I handled it calmly, with no support, and got the job done’? My best mum friend, Mary (you know the type that you wouldn’t have survived motherhood without), came up with a brilliant idea that we needed some sort of reward system for getting through various stages in our kids' lives, or in particular school holidays! Rewards have included spa trips, drunken shopping sprees, and my favorite one to date, a trip to go and see exotic dancers who pick you up and throw you around some dirty room in North London. The prize itself is not the point. The logic behind it is. We are all so good at focusing on the negative, the things we’ve failed at or forgotten, the difficulties and the struggles. By having a prize and end goal in mind, it not only helps us move forward, but it also teaches us to look back and give ourselves the recognition we deserve. My hope when you read this is you come up with your own, end-of-summer holiday reward system for all the bloody stars you have earned over the summer holidays. Let me know what your reward is going to be (Instagram @motherofmind) - I seriously want to know. One because I'm sure it will inspire me, but two because if you are taking the time to message me what it is, you are 10 times more likely to actually implement it. And I want that for you. IN SUMMARY:
You can find me on Instagram @motherofmind - come and say hello! Good Luck and have a wonderful Summer Hols. See ya on the flip side. Mother of Mind Alice Rickard x 
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  A massive shoutout and heartfelt thanks to all you incredible ladies who rocked our mind-blowing mothers meeting today at the exclusive Shoreditch House, featuring the sensational Siobhan Mears from the legendary Mears Collective! The room was bursting with fierce women determined to turn motherhood into an exhilarating chapter rather than the end of a dusty book. Our phenomenal Mothers Meetings Founder Jenny scott aka @chatwithjenny, as always, poured her heart and soul into making everyone feel welcome, encouraging us to share our stories, ask questions, and unleash our full potential. Her boundless inspiration and kindness are downright infectious! Siobhan took us on a wild ride, revealing the secret sauce of unleashing our professional lives as women through a plethora of online tools. But here's the kicker: she didn't stop at that. She emphasized the crucial role of nurturing our families' well-being and safeguarding our precious mental health along the way. We collectively acknowledged the power of establishing an unshakeable foundation, paving the way for us to work smarter instead of harder. No more falling prey to the allure of fleeting social media highs. It's all about setting sky-high standards and constructing a rock-solid groundwork that sets the uber-successful businesses apart from the rest. pic by the wonderful @charlottegrayphoto xx When it comes to free platforms and online tools to assist coaches, there are several options available that can support various aspects of coaching. While free solutions may have limitations compared to their paid counterparts, they can still provide valuable resources for coaches. Here are some great free platforms and online tools for coaches:
I just have to share how absolutely incredible the mothers meeting at Shoreditch house was! The guests THE STYLE SISTERS brought so much insight and inspiration, and it was exactly what I needed. A huge shoutout and thank you to Jenny Scott for hosting these life-changing meetings. I have to admit, I was feeling pretty anxious the night before the event. I didn't think I was good enough, glamorous enough, or energetic enough to attend. But I pushed through and, with a little bit of courage and some fancy trackies, I made my way to Shoreditch house. And boy, am I glad I did! The event exceeded my expectations, and I left feeling supported and connected to a tribe of amazing women. The Style Sisters gave fantastic advice on decluttering and organizing your life, and their down-to-earth and friendly personalities made the event even more enjoyable. I can't recommend these mothers meetings enough - they truly are a game-changer. Here are some tips on having a clutter-free family home: 1. Establish a weekly decluttering routine. 2. Create designated storage areas for each family member's belongings. 3. Encourage your family to donate or sell items they no longer need or use. 4. Use organizational tools such as baskets, bins, and labels. 5. Keep flat surfaces clear of unnecessary items. 6. Only keep items that serve a purpose or bring joy. 7. Limit the amount of knick-knacks and decorative items. 8. Utilize vertical space with shelves and hooks. 9. Keep a "one in, one out" rule for new items brought into the home. 10. Regularly assess and reorganize your storage solutions to ensure they are working effectively. I REALLY CANNOT RECCOMEND THESE EVENTS ENOUGH, EVEN IF YOU DO FEEL SCARED! YOU WILL BE SO PROUD YOU WENT ALONG AND EVERYONE WILL MAKE YOU SO SO WELCOME. Pics by Kelly Reeves  Lucie Flynn is an artist and mother who lives in Surrey. She first started getting involved in MM when she was a new mum living in North London in 2010. Lucie works in a studio attached to her home creating paintings and limited edition prints for gallery shows around the world as well as creating large-scale street paintings. She makes her own rules on motherhood and has no qualms in admitting that being a parent is the hardest and most exhausting job in the world - EVER!
WEBSITE - HERE INSTA - HERE I definitely would not of been able to write a piece about my life until this exact moment, I am a massive believer in things happening at a time that is right. Life has thrown me a lot this past 6 months and I feel very grateful to of been asked by MM to write this piece now, at a time when I am taking a much more holistic approach to my life. Motherhood and lifestyle was something that I used to separate - I was not very relaxed when it came to my parenting style, which is surprising as a so called chilled creative type! I was one of those people who found the structure of routine extremely important - looking back I guess this did give me the freedom to be more flexible in other aspects of inspirational guidance to my two children, now aged 9 and 12. I did take them both to art fairs and galleries form birth and up, most of my friends are artists/designers of sorts - we are all into fashion and collecting in some shape or form so naturally my children have been surrounded by art, design, fashion and music since they were still in my belly. I am a very honest and upfront person and have installed the importance of talking openly with my children. They have always had the opportunity to be part of my working life too, this includes how I spend any downtime for example being outdoors in nature, exercise, good food and culture as well as my working life as an artist, preparing for shows, working in a very untraditional way, pushing myself out of my comfort zone and most importantly thoroughly enjoying what I do - making artwork! It was only once both my kids were in pre school that I felt I could really concentrate on my career and give it my all. My life is reflected in my painting, everything works hand in hand - which is why finding a balance to fit everything in is so important. I generally say yes to most projects that I have been asked to be involved with and this has resulted in me working on things that I am genuinely terrified to do but I never regret it. My partner has taught me to say yes and paint, if you don’t like it you can always go over it - that philosophy has brought me out of my shell a lot. However lately there has been a lot more going on in my personnel life which has needed my full attention and the juggling at points has become pretty insane. In November 2022 both my mum and partner became seriously ill at the same time - my mum was hospitalised with severe depression on the same day my partner was told he had cancer - it was a lot to take on to say the least. As well as this my son had just started secondary school and was finding it extremely challenging, the first term included detentions and regular phone calls from various teachers telling me how he was causing disruptions, refusing to do tests and not complying to pretty much every request - this of course was really stressful as my head and heart were overly consumed with worry for my mum and partner but I had to try and keep on top of what was going on at school too. Don’t worry I am definitely not perfect and did in fact have several phone calls from the school that ended in me putting the phone down due to the high level of stress I was under at the time, after all there is only so much one can take on board. I hated seeing my son so unhappy in school and nine months down the line I am finally looking at getting him assessed for ADHD and have the school working with me in a more supportive capacity. My daughter is a deep soul and we talk a lot about everything thats going on, she understands things are tricky for me sometimes and involves herself in helping out and generally being the calm one of the household. My mum is out of hospital and looking after herself independently, my partner is slowly turning the corner post surgeries and daily treatment - things are settling down (for now). A lot of my friends and family kept telling me throughout ‘oh wow, you are so strong, it’s a lot to deal with’. Maybe I am so strong because as an only child I have always just got on with stuff, no matter what. My mum is also a very strong woman - installing the importance of speaking your mind and to talk through problems that weigh you down. Or maybe I am not special at all and simply getting on with the daily grind. I believe now more than ever before how everything that life throws your way is a lesson, the things I have learnt this year alone have made me look at my work and life in a completely different light. I supported my mum though a really serious illness, I cared for my partner who was dealing with life changing disease and treatments, I tried to keep busy with a few carefully selected work projects, I definitely took self care seriously, I helped and continue to work with my son’s often challenging behaviour and yes there is the very real fact of still wanting to look and feel good with a spring in my step. Once a nice bottle of wine on a Friday night would kick the worries away, now I am leaning more towards a hydra facial followed by water and an early night - yes really! In writing this piece I hope to communicate something of myself that is authentic by showing that we can all experience challenging times and to not be held back by them. Look for inspiration in places that you may of not considered and possibly view life from a different perspective - this can be the best route forward when we are stuck. Women are incredibly resilient and open creatures, the amount we can do continuously astounds and surprises me. Personally I don’t see that things are going to slow down or suddenly become stress free any time soon so I am going to be living in the chaos, embracing the unknown and trying to work with everything that is thrown my way. I hope that some you reading this can connect with where I am coming from. If like me you love a list then see below for some of my quick fire feel good hacks- and most importantly DO THINGS YOUR OWN WAY. Do not be afraid to be yourself Trust your gut Speak to your girlies Go for a walk and look around you Don’t bother dwelling on the past Get an early night Don’t feel you have to fit in Take inspiration from something new Love what you have Be honest Lots of love Lucie x   Meet Georgia Billings, a force to be reckoned with. She is a mama of three who juggles motherhood while managing the career of Idris Elba's body double and supporting her husband, a badass Muay Thai boxer. Georgia has a keen eye for fashion and is always immaculately dressed, with her children looking like they have walked straight out of a Benetton campaign. On top of her busy schedule, Georgia is a trained doula and a born and bred South London badass, with a soul that shines through in everything she does.
1)Mum Hacks: Tips and trips for making life easier As a mum of three (!) and wife to a Professional (World Champion, no less) Kick boxer – of course the first hack that comes to mind has something to do with the bane of my life…LAUNDRY. Ergh. The word even gives me shudders. Of all my accomplishments in life, having an empty laundry basket fills me with ultimate MUM GOAL vibes. Anyway, I digress – Hack 1: the sun, not only makes us instantly feel better and more glowy and beautiful but it’s the best for getting out newborn shit stains. How many baby grows are you guilty of throwing away because they had a huge yellow splodge that wouldn’t budge? Give the babygrow a rinse in cold water (with a bit of washing up liquid if you’re feeling fancy) and simply pop the babygrow outside in direct sunlight – and like magic, the stain disappears. Hack 2: for older kids that play sports (or husband’s that go to the gym a lot (try 4 times a day, 6 days a week in this house…)) a scoop full of bicarbonate of soda, is the best addition to your wash to get rid of any lingering damp/stinky armpit smells. 2)The secret life of mums: Confessions from the trenches Not so much a confession, but more a “must” – once you have a baby it’s so easy to loose yourself and your identity – I’ve been there, pretty certain we’ve all grieved our pre parent (have a lie-in till 1pm) selves at some stage. Third baby in, and this time round the “bounce back” (not in loosing baby weight – I wish!) has been so much more powerful – I’m confident in who I am, what I stand for, my priorities, my choices – and my wardrobe. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been – because I’m so concentrated on me. I surround myself with energy boosters. Actually, on reflection, I haven’t bounced back – I’ve evolved. 3)The best and worst advice mums have received I trained as a doula (although currently, I’ve put that career on hold) and the word “advice” is a bit of a trigger for my doula brain! Doula’s don’t give advice – they encourage clients to use their b.r.a.i.n.s to make informed choices (acronym for: benefits, risks, alternatives, intuition, nothing). If I had to choose..the best advice would be something my husband has said to me countless times, “set boundaries and don’t be afraid to say “no” if you don’t want to do something.” It’s something I’ve really put in to practice since having our youngest son. The worst advice, for me personally (after giving birth) would be “don’t worry about the mess, sleep when the baby’s sleeping” I can’t relax if our house is a pig sty – my brain would be way more relaxed, and in turn, I would feel more content if I spent that time tidying my space – we are all individuals, the most important thing is to do what works best for US. 4)Mumfessions: embarrassing moments from parenthood I know there are a million embarrassing moments, probably because the kids are at an age now, where they’re brutally honest about everything – no filters at all...which at times can be pretty toe curlingly embarrassing. I’m still breastfeeding, and being at a work meeting, or a cool brand’s PR event and my milk soaking through my top, still makes me all hot and flustered – although it usually ends up as a bonding tool, as guaranteed at least one other parent in the room can sympathise! 5)Parenting fails: when things dont go as planned A couple of evenings ago – after eating dinner, the baby was having some nappy off time, crawling around the front room before bed. The rest of us were still sitting at the dining table, catching up on the day etc … 5 or so minutes later, my eldest son went to join his little brother on the floor and immediately starting shouting “NO ROBIN!! NO ROBIN!!” Intrigued, I went over to see what was happening… Robin has done a poo on the floor, and was picking the sweetcorn out of his log – and eating it. EPIC FAIL. 6)The truth about potty training: A mum’s perspective I potty trained my daughter (she’s almost 5 now) during lockdown. We were all indoors for months – and the first thing I brought was a potty. I didn’t put any pressure on her at all – she naturally just started sitting and weeing on the potty. As with everything children related, consistency is the key – just keep at it. Also, children’s milestones are often a competition amongst parents – battle of the “who walked/used the potty/counted to 5 in French first” don’t fall in to that pressure circle. You’ll know when you’re both ready. 7)The mum squad: finding your tribe in the world of parenthood I lead such a busy life that I find it really hard to sync diaries with a lot of my friends that have children. I’m guilty of making plans and then either cancelling or one of us completely forgets that we had a date in the diary – so last minute “hey babes, what you up to today/tomorrow” plans usually work best for me. My true friends don’t take me cancelling or my ‘not seeing them for 6months’ personally – when we do meet up, we pick up where we left off and there is no animosity or hard feelings. This ties in to the ‘boundaries and people pleasing advice’ I mentioned above – I’ve learned to prioritise myself, my family and my work commitments and sadly, that doesn’t leave time for a whole lot else – I’m extremely fortunate and blessed that I’m happiest when I’m with the people that live within my four walls. 8)Mum’s night out: the Importance of self care and fun. I’m a bit of a boring bastard – I don’t get out and socialise or “have fun” how other’s would perceive to be the conventional way, very often. Robin is almost one, although he eats food now – he falls to sleep on my boob every night and I prioritise him each and every time. I don’t enjoy my time out otherwise, knowing he’s distressed. Instead I try to arrange daytime plans (brunch/lunch etc). This year I’ve been consistent with my fitness regime, and holding myself accountable, and I’ve fallen in love with walking – for hours – my fav’ place to walk is Richmond Park, this is major selfcare and “time out” for me. Follow Georgina on insta below…
Insta link: https://www.instagram.com/peckhammum/ 1) Mum Hacks: Tips and trips for making life easier As a mum of three (!) and wife to a Professional (World Champion, no less) Kick boxer – of course the first hack that comes to mind has something to do with the bane of my life…LAUNDRY. Ergh. The word even gives me shudders. Of all my accomplishments in life, having an empty laundry basket fills me with ultimate MUM GOAL vibes. Anyway, I digress – Hack 1: the sun, not only makes us instantly feel better and more glowy and beautiful but it’s the best for getting out newborn shit stains. How many baby grows are you guilty of throwing away because they had a huge yellow splodge that wouldn’t budge? Give the babygrow a rinse in cold water (with a bit of washing up liquid if you’re feeling fancy) and simply pop the babygrow outside in direct sunlight – and like magic, the stain disappears. Hack 2: for older kids that play sports (or husband’s that go to the gym a lot (try 4 times a day, 6 days a week in this house…)) a scoop full of bicarbonate of soda, is the best addition to your wash to get rid of any lingering damp/stinky armpit smells. 2) The secret life of mums: Confessions from the trenches Not so much a confession, but more a “must” – once you have a baby it’s so easy to loose yourself and your identity – I’ve been there, pretty certain we’ve all grieved our pre parent (have a lie-in till 1pm) selves at some stage. Third baby in, and this time round the “bounce back” (not in loosing baby weight – I wish!) has been so much more powerful – I’m confident in who I am, what I stand for, my priorities, my choices – and my wardrobe. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been – because I’m so concentrated on me. I surround myself with energy boosters. Actually, on reflection, I haven’t bounced back – I’ve evolved. 3) The best and worst advice mums have received I trained as a doula (although currently, I’ve put that career on hold) and the word “advice” is a bit of a trigger for my doula brain! Doula’s don’t give advice – they encourage clients to use their b.r.a.i.n.s to make informed choices (acronym for: benefits, risks, alternatives, intuition, nothing). If I had to choose..the best advice would be something my husband has said to me countless times, “set boundaries and don’t be afraid to say “no” if you don’t want to do something.” It’s something I’ve really put in to practice since having our youngest son. The worst advice, for me personally (after giving birth) would be “don’t worry about the mess, sleep when the baby’s sleeping” I can’t relax if our house is a pig sty – my brain would be way more relaxed, and in turn, I would feel more content if I spent that time tidying my space – we are all individuals, the most important thing is to do what works best for US. 4) Mumfessions: embarrassing moments from parenthood I know there are a million embarrassing moments, probably because the kids are at an age now, where they’re brutally honest about everything – no filters at all...which at times can be pretty toe curlingly embarrassing. I’m still breastfeeding, and being at a work meeting, or a cool brand’s PR event and my milk soaking through my top, still makes me all hot and flustered – although it usually ends up as a bonding tool, as guaranteed at least one other parent in the room can sympathise! 5) Parenting fails: when things dont go as planned A couple of evenings ago – after eating dinner, the baby was having some nappy off time, crawling around the front room before bed. The rest of us were still sitting at the dining table, catching up on the day etc … 5 or so minutes later, my eldest son went to join his little brother on the floor and immediately starting shouting “NO ROBIN!! NO ROBIN!!” Intrigued, I went over to see what was happening… Robin has done a poo on the floor, and was picking the sweetcorn out of his log – and eating it. EPIC FAIL. 6) The truth about potty training: A mum’s perspective I potty trained my daughter (she’s almost 5 now) during lockdown. We were all indoors for months – and the first thing I brought was a potty. I didn’t put any pressure on her at all – she naturally just started sitting and weeing on the potty. As with everything children related, consistency is the key – just keep at it. Also, children’s milestones are often a competition amongst parents – battle of the “who walked/used the potty/counted to 5 in French first” don’t fall in to that pressure circle. You’ll know when you’re both ready. 7) The mum squad: finding your tribe in the world of parenthood I lead such a busy life that I find it really hard to sync diaries with a lot of my friends that have children. I’m guilty of making plans and then either cancelling or one of us completely forgets that we had a date in the diary – so last minute “hey babes, what you up to today/tomorrow” plans usually work best for me. My true friends don’t take me cancelling or my ‘not seeing them for 6months’ personally – when we do meet up, we pick up where we left off and there is no animosity or hard feelings. This ties in to the ‘boundaries and people pleasing advice’ I mentioned above – I’ve learned to prioritise myself, my family and my work commitments and sadly, that doesn’t leave time for a whole lot else – I’m extremely fortunate and blessed that I’m happiest when I’m with the people that live within my four walls. 8) Mum’s night out: the Importance of self care and fun. I’m a bit of a boring bastard – I don’t get out and socialise or “have fun” how other’s would perceive to be the conventional way, very often. Robin is almost one, although he eats food now – he falls to sleep on my boob every night and I prioritise him each and every time. I don’t enjoy my time out otherwise, knowing he’s distressed. Instead I try to arrange daytime plans (brunch/lunch etc). This year I’ve been consistent with my fitness regime, and holding myself accountable, and I’ve fallen in love with walking – for hours – my fav’ place to walk is Richmond Park, this is major selfcare and “time out” for me.  Time to talk openly about Mental Health it said but hasn’t that been done and continues to be done all the time I said with an air of scepticism in my thoughts. Maybe because I work in a large corporate organisation and have the resources and work groups to promote positive wellbeing, I am getting a little complacent about this topic in 2022. I feel that most of us are already on the self-help journey by now and that stigma that I encountered literally on a daily basis when I started the biggest role that I was ever going to undertake, being a parent many years ago, has somewhat subsided. As I sit here now reflecting on the recent Mothers Meeting event some 24 hours later it continues to raise many questions for me…..whilst everyone’s ‘hard’ is different have I really addressed all that learned behaviour and mistakes that I made during my twenties and thirties that I still have many regrets about. Have I really forgiven myself and others for some very dark, tough times that I call my ‘hard’. Do I need to go to that safe space again of Lucy who has been my therapist for many years now…..maybe, maybe. So, its Monday morning and I have already spent most of Sunday night and all of Monday morning thinking about what I am going to wear to the Mothers Meeting Event that is being held at the amazingly cool Stratford Hotel in East London. Who is going to talk to me and what interesting things do I have to talk about, those thoughts have taken over yet again and with a quick goodbye to home I set off to hopefully see and meet some friendly women just like me. It doesn’t matter how many of these meetings I have been too I still stand at the bottom of the stairs and give myself a talking to ……for god’s sake Cara you are a 40 something, strong, successful, resilient women get in there!!!! and you are quite a good mother who somehow has managed to raise 3 decent human beings, you have shit to share. Up the stairs I go and of course I immediately feel at home. A few familiar faces come to say hello and new faces introduce themselves like only women can in order to make other women feel welcomed. We all have each other’s back immediately. I know it sounds like a cliché, but this space is where women encourage other women, where candid discussions take place, where women can be vulnerable and show strength at the same time. And that certainly was the theme for this meeting. The panel was certainly one not to miss, Jenny has pulled it out of the bag for this one. As I sat there waiting for the discussions to start, I wondered what back stories these ladies were going to share with us and how guarded would they be with such a large following watching their every move. Yet again I am proved wrong and as soon as Caroline Watson starts talking, I hear myself saying god how brave is she to give up her life pre-children to be fully present in her new life as a mother. To say Caroline’s work life was glamourous is an understatement, she was an incredible stylist working with one of the largest boy bands in the world, she travelled the word with them and experienced things that only I can dream of but one day made the brave decision to give it all up. Yep, she came off social media, left her 138k followers and after many years of dedicating her time to make others happy now was the time to make time for Caroline and her children. Make money or look after your mental health. Make money or spend time with the children at the beach. Make money or being present and engaged with the children. It’s a no brainer, right? Of course, this isn’t for everyone and some of us are not able to do this with the ever-increasing financial commitments that we work to pay each month and with total honesty Caroline emphasized that her financial pot did take quite a knock, but it was what she wanted to do and knew that the time was right for her. That decision making and bravery was quite empowering. Could I be that brave? Am I selfish for wanting the luxury’s that my salary gave me? If I asked my children, would they have preferred me to be around and present more, would they have wanted me to have attended every school event and been there every day for school pick up’s and drop off’s…maybe, probably. But the room continues to listen to Caroline and be motivated by her story of the digital switch off and how she now fills those gaps where they would have been filled with another hour lost by scrolling…we have all been there. Caroline reads, reflects, enjoys her own quiet time, spends time in her garden, watches her children paint and the reward of seeing their little faces at the school gates is enough for her to know that this breakup was the right thing to do. Caroline now has the head space to build her new business venture called the The Paperwork Club which quite frankly I want a job there if the culture is as refreshing as Caroline. Next up on the panel is a lady that I have followed for some time on Instagram, Cat Simms aka @notsosmugnow. I am not sure what drew me to Cat a couple of years ago when at the time I thought we didn’t share that much in common but as I have followed her journey over the last 18months I feel like we are best friends who understand each other even though we have never met. Sounds ridiculous I know. Why, because again of this common theme I am realising today, bravery and self-awareness. As I sit and listen to Cat it comes to me that it doesn’t matter what job you do or industry you are in or if you are taking time out to be the best parent you can be at let’s face the toughest role you will ever take on, the strength that these ladies are sharing today is relevant to us all. Cat exudes real life, no BS honesty about her feelings when her little girl was born and how this led to post-natal depression to the experience of couples counselling with her husband Jimmy to her well documented path to sobriety. I find myself sitting absolutely fixated on Cat’s story nodding away as if I am one of those nodding dogs sitting on the mantelpiece. Cat has the ability to explain how her behaviour reflects the learned behaviour she has grown up with and how this shapes us as adults in a way that the whole room can relate to. Cat discusses how we are often scared to revisit trauma that has happened in our lives and how she defines trauma as simple as having a baby. Yes, at last! It is traumatic and not all bunny rabbits and rainbows and love at first sight. Its OK to admit that and to say you found it hard. But was does finally break the ice queen within me is her refection on her route to sobriety. The realisation that addiction isn’t the stereotypical image you have of some down and out who could have made better life choices. Addiction comes in all shapes, sizes and forms and takes over us in different ways but Cat showed us all that with a huge amount of vulnerability and self-awareness what the addiction was doing to her and the discipline and strength she somehow gathers every day, she is taking accountability and owning her shit without resentment. Her words not mine and God they are powerful words. Finally, the floor was opened up to Holly Matthews aka @iamhollymatthews and all I knew about Holly was she started out in Byker Grove and did a few episodes of casualty. What I didn’t know was, Holly is now a life coach with a huge emphasis on being pragmatic and real. Total no nonsense stuff which is perfect for me. Holly let us into her life as a teenager and how her mental health experience started at a very early age of 14. Living her teenage years working in TV, Holly was taught to believe that being made up was the way she was to present herself she was routinely told that her appearance wasn’t good enough and this led to her mental health deteriorating. Holly described how she spent years pretending to be someone she wasn’t so people liked her and this was something that made me sad about my younger self as I was sitting listening and my mind again wondered to my own challenges. Thank God my daughter has the confidence to be her authentic self I thought. As Holly continued to talk suddenly with raw openness, she describes the bombshell news that her husband was diagnosed with an incurable brain tumour. The strength at which she detailed this time in her life and the resilience it has given her was remarkable. Her words were inspirational, there she was with two small children and a husband fighting her his life and she still found time to be selfless. Holly wanted to share her experience with others who were going through the same fight. Holly shares a wonderful insight into how when you slow down and scale back your lives become richer. Holly’s experience and drive to help others find their way enabled her to start her own business ‘My Happy Me Project’. The ethos behind my Happy Me Project is self-development doesn’t have to be fancy. You don’t have to be a certain kind of person to be happy and create a life you love – you can be a person who’s been through trauma, loss, sadness and grief and you can take all that hardship and still have a fabulous life. I hope that people who are in a similar position can see Holly as hope, as someone who wasn’t and isn’t willing for sadness to be her whole life. Thank you, Holly, for sharing your story. I feel very privileged to have been able to hear it. I keep hearing the phrase ‘find your tribe’ and I am not sure I have found mine yet, but I do know that the women in the room at The Stratford Hotel were my people. They reminded me that I must be kind to me. Its ok to put yourself, your piece of mind and desires before others. We are all Human and we all make Human mistakes. The powerful thing is owning that mistake and who you are and moving on without guilt….isn’t that right girls x - Cara Morris  Cat Walther, Words and Thread T: 07530 471 190 | www.wordsandthread.co.uk Hope this does the trick... Flodesk (https://flodesk.com/c/WORDSTHREAD) Anyone sick of hearing me go on about Flodesk yet? This email platform is the best combination of beautiful and functional. It gives you email templates and forms that are easy and quick to set up, and allows you to create functional workflows and manage your audience in a sensible way. Top Tip: keep on top of your designs by using folders, so you can easily duplicate an email instead of starting from scratch. 17Hats (https://referrals.17hats.com/) If you have a service based business, you need 17Hats. It's that simple! This Customer Relationship Manager (CRM) helps you to keep track of your leads and clients with a simple dashboard and interface, create a workflow with templated emails, and all the while it applies your branding so it looks really elegant too. It's easy to upload and edit your contracts, create a quote, allow your potential client to book a call with you via its scheduler, and send an invoice automatically. It can't make you a tea. That's about all it can't do. Top Tip: Take advantage of the tutorials that are included in the dashboard, and take it step by step. Otter (https://otter.ai/) Otter transcribes audio - but it does it in the most accurate way I have found so far. What's really clever is it will save the audio, so you can easily edit and check the wording against the audio as you work, saving so much time. Top Tip: Connect it up to your calendar and it will add your appointments, so you can instantly start meeting notes. 1Password (https://1password.com/) No one has time to manage passwords, but also no one has time to deal with the fallout of a security breach. The best automations mean you are you on your best day, and so it is with 1Password. Simple to set up, the end. Top Tip: Utilise the notes section for info like your National Insurance number and Passport number PopClip (https://pilotmoon.com/popclip/) One for the Mac users - PopClip appears when you select text with your mouse on your Mac. Instantly copy & paste, and access actions like search, spelling, dictionary and over 200 more. Incredible - one that you will wonder how you ever did without it. Top Tip: Add the extensions for your most used tools, and you can instantly select text and create a new note or entry in Bear or DayOne. quillbot (https://quillbot.com/) this is a quality tool, it takes your sentences, switches them up, makes them sound more natural - so you can chuck your factual practical product description in for example, and it will turn it into an easy to read revised natural piece of writing! Top Tip: It also has a grammar check, and a summariser tool to sift through long reports and writing to give you just the key points. Zapier (https://zapier.com/) The ultimate entry level automation tool. With thousands of templates to give you an easy starting point, Zapier will save you hours every week - no matter what is slowing you down. How about notifying someone in slack every time someone completes a form, or adding their details to a google sheet without lifting a finger? Maybe you'd like your new blog post content to be saved in a spreadsheet so it can be used to create social media content? Top Tip: start small, you can have 5 automations a month for free. BIO; Cat Walther is a self confessed systems nerd with a loud laugh. After 10 years of supporting CEOs & Directors everywhere from Brisbane to the London Olympics to the most prestigious property developer in Mayfair, she now helps women run their service based businesses. A trained copywriter, facilitator and designer, her favourite work thing is listening and helping out. She lives in Hove with her husband and 3 kids. Naturally, she drinks a lot (of coffee).   ‘If I could give my kids one thing, it would be freedom: freedom to choose styles that show their individuality, and freedom to move around comfortably and to have fun,’ explains Alison McAleavy, founder of Zig + Star. ‘Why can’t boys be free to wear animal prints and metallics, and why do girls have to wear shoes they can’t climb trees or run fast in?’ That’s the ethos behind her gorgeous new footwear brand, approved by podiatrists and styled with years of experience working for some of the fashion world’s hottest brands. After working for more than 20 years in fashion, starting in footwear for some of the biggest names on the high street and culminating as head of buying for Topshop, London-based designer Alison spotted a huge gap in the market while on maternity leave with her son, Ziggy. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So it’s 14 weeks since I’ve launched Zig+Star… the idea I’d been working on for 2 years… starting in very normal times, but taking in some very surreal times too.. 14 weeks sounds like the blink of an eye… but it feels like a lifetime So what have a learnt in that time?? Every single customer makes it all worthwhile That ping sound you get for a sale never gets old… don’t get me wrong, its not because of the money… but because it’s a little bit of encouragement that comes at just the right time when you might be doubting yourself, or questioning what your doing. Starting a business on your own can be a lonely place and every customer email, sale, recommendation feels like a lifeline. I feel so thankful for every single follow, like, comment… All of it is a validation that you’re on the right track and to keep going even when it feels like a hard slog. Thank-you to everyone that has supported our small biz so far, I hope you stay on this journey with us. You have to learn to roll with the punches So we launched mid March… the reaction blew me away… the sales were coming in, I was growing on instagram, there was great customer feedback, everything felt so positive. And then…. It rained for 3 weeks… and iron’t just mean it rained a bit… it poured every day from morning to night. My poor old 80’s conservatory couldn’t cope, and we had at least 6 bowls out to catch the rain. It was hard not to think back to last year… yes we were in lockdown, but we basically had long balmy days from April to September. So with the rain came quiet weeks… yes it’s raining you think, but maybe people just don’t like what we’re doing? Maybe there’s something we need to change or do differently. All these questions go through your head, and when you work alone, as `I do, they can dominate your thoughts. But roll on a few weeks later, the sun came back (for now) and so did the sales… You learn not to take the lows to heart… and it’s the same with the highs. There will be good weeks and bad weeks. You just need to stick to your mission and your instinct and keep pushing forward. Instagram isn’t as bad as I thought Before I started the brand, I wasn’t really into social media. I never posted, but would only go on for a bit of a nose. The idea of posting about myself and the brand sort of freaked me out. The thing that really shifted my mindset was doing Lucy Sheridan’s Good Gram course. I started to think about instagram as a community (it is a “social”network after all). I just had to find my tribe. And once I started thinking and interacting in that way, it didn’t feel like work… It felt like a support network, whether it be other small brands, or people that took the time to encourage you. Yes it can be time consuming and a bit arduous sometimes, but the more consideration your put in, the more you get out of it, and it’s been an absolute godsend to a small lockdown business like mine. But IRL is even better Even without the lockdown we’ve had, I think a lot of small Ecom businesses like mine operate pretty much 100% virtually… We don’t have shops, most of us don’t have teams or offices… It’s just us and our laptops living through Shopify and social media (and the Mothers Meeting gang which has been a lifeline). But still, having in real life conversations with people other than delivery drivers has been rare. The best thing I did was to start doing local London deliveries to customers… I can honestly say it’s been the best part of the job. Meeting customers, having a chat, getting direct feedback… it’s been amazing. I have learnt more from a 5 minute chit-chat on someones doorstep than I have from the many hours of market research googling I have done. Work with people you’d want to hang out with I launched with one stockist (thank-you at Windmill shoes in Crouch End!) but as soon as the restrictions allowed, I got out to meet new potential stockists… I wasn’t in the market for trying to flog the brand to anyone, but it wasn’t about exclusivity. It was about finding people I could partner with… People that appreciated what we were trying to do with Zig+Star and we could collaborate with. I have 5 stockists now, and every single one is totally lovely. The feedback and support I get from them is amazing at this early stage of our journey and will help us grown and develop as a brand. Thank you to Word Store London, Luna&Curious, What Mother Made and Jump shoes for all your support. And when the time comes to hopefully expanding my little team of one, I will take that with me. Working with people who mirror your values, who you trust, and and who you like spending time with… that’s the ultimate goal Thank-you to everyone, both professionally and personally, who have supported and helped develop the business so far… It means the world. Love Ali x   Clicking Share
When my husband and I launched our business, KeepEmQuiet.com back in 2016, I went from a private Instagram to a public one, to connect and network and help to spread the word about our new venture, in what at the time was a mainly female blogging space. As time went on I started sharing more and more about me personally. About my grief on losing my Mum to breast cancer at 27. About Mental Illness, with a family history of depression, bipolar, and suicide attempts. About my eating disorder in my teens and body issues. I started to realise that connecting with people on this deeper level and sharing my story felt right, even if it helped just one person then it was worth it to be vulnerable and honest. I have always found writing a cathartic, therapeutic experience. In October 2019, I stripped to a pink bra to raise awareness for Breast Cancer Awareness Month having lost my beautiful Mum to the disease, just as she lost hers whom I never met (I’m hanging out the top window!). One month later, aged 37, I was diagnosed myself. For 6 months I had not mentioned online about my older sister’s Ovarian cancer diagnosis. It was not my story to tell and so I had lived and breathed cancer for 6 months whilst my Instagram told a different story. And now, here I was, with my own diagnosis. Do I silently just go quiet and knuckle down with treatment or invite others along for the maddest ride of my life? For over a week, my family and I got our heads around the diagnosis. I told friends. I had tests. And we celebrated our baby girl turning 4 in amongst the agonising upheaval of all that lay ahead. And then on Sunday evening, I wrote the words “I have breast cancer” and clicked share. The support and outpouring of love was immediately overwhelming and filled me with strength. My intentions with sharing my journey have always been to spread awareness for Breast Cancer and get people to check their boobs and know what to look for. Back in October, before my diagnosis, the message was loud and clear…Early detection is key. And here I was living proof that early detection is key. Stage 2, Grade 3 Triple Negative Breast Cancer with a BRCA1 gene mutation. Stage 1 and 2 are considered early. Grades refer to the aggressive nature of the disease. Early stages and aggressive, so I faced an aggressive treatment plan, and radical surgery due to the gene, but things were looking positive. Due to some chunky painful lymph nodes which I discovered on a chemo ward with my sister, I immediately booked to see my GP and within a week of finding them I had a diagnosis. My early detection likely has saved my life. Clicking share meant that I have shared my cancer journey much like I would writing in a diary. Initially I went into warrior mode, as my therapist put it. Very few tears but a strong positive mental attitude. People resonated with the positivity. Positivity is contagious. I have found sharing my more vulnerable moments way harder. Not wanting to make anyone feel sorry for me. But just honouring that I have opened myself up to sharing the highs and lows of my breast cancer journey, and this chapter of my life, and therefore the lows are par the course. And there have been some of the highest highs and lowest lows. Some days I’ve felt like I’ve had nothing to give, riddled with fatigue, chemo fog & relentless negativity. Those are the hard days where I feel like perhaps sharing my journey may hinder the help I was wanting to give people. As the realities of cancer can be very, very ugly. Recently I have really struggled with the loss of most of my hair, after retaining it for 12 cycles of chemo, at the last hurdle and with the stronger chemo that I am now on, the AC, it has taken a hit. A physical adjustment to this has been hard. Looking more unwell. Changing for my husband and my children. I have cut my hair shorter but so far still managing to retain some hair with the use of the dreaded cold cap, which although dreaded, I would recommend to anyone to try that would like to attempt to keep some hair. The first ten minutes are impossibly hard, and as my hair has thinned I have started to take a Lorazapam to chill me out for these 10 minutes, as they make me pretty nauseas, but after these initial 10 minutes I find the whole process way easier. I’m very glad I have stuck with it, and although I have very little hair left, I will continue to cold cap for my last session to retain what is left. I’m grateful to the device that allowed me to feel like me for as long as it did. That is for sure. On a more positive note, I have found that sharing my story has been a vehicle to allow a lot of people that care about me an insight in to what is going on with me, and to a degree has meant that I am not repeating myself, which when exhausted from the treatment and two little children, can be a relief. Although at times, the pressure I have put on myself to share has felt a little heavy and this has made me look at my personality and reflect and take stock. And the highest points throughout sharing my cancer diaries have absolutely been the messages I have received in my DM’s from people who have checked out pains, and lumps, that they had previously ignored, and that they have had the incredible relief to find out that they are benign. Those messages make the sharing so, so worth it. And the messages to say that by sharing my experience I have helped others going through their own cancer journeys. It is totally true what they say, a problem shared is a problem halved. Which brings me to the point that if you have gotten this far, please do me one favour and check your boobs immediately. Don’t be scared, get to know your body, and get to the GP if you have any concerns. I felt like I was wasting everyone’s time as I waited to have my ultrasound. Please, please know that checking your health is NEVER wasting anyone’s time. Doctor’s get a whole lot more joy from telling you that you have nothing, than telling you that you have something. Please CHECK YOUR BOOBS. I have connected with so many wonderful people in the cancer community through sharing online. It truly helps you to feel less alone. I have no shortage of wonderful friends, family and loved ones who only have my best interests at heart, but chatting with someone who truly knows the ins and outs of breast cancer, chemo, and so many fears that come with being told you have cancer, has lifted me through some dark times and I am truly grateful I clicked share to have connected with these warrior women. A cancer diagnosis flips your world in an instant. It gives you a perspective for all that you want your life to be if you can get to the other side of it. I’m nearing that side now, and I’m so driven to live to my fullest, my healthiest, my best me. I have never ever been more convinced that all that truly matters is that we have our health and our loved ones. Fundamentally this is the true basis of happiness, and having cancer has made me reflect on all the beauty that love and health can allow in. True healing: it’s a journey, but that is the one destination I have on my horizon. My cancer diagnosis may just be the catalyst to stop living in dis ease and start to live in harmony. I know that clicking share was the right decision for me and I am forever grateful to everyone that has joined me for this mad rollercoaster ride. We are almost off this crazy train, and I’ve never been more ready to start living at the destination. (This blog was written just before my final chemo but here is the happiest most joyous picture straight after my final chemo session with my best cheerleaders – my family!) @carly_keepemquiet @keepemquiet www.keepemquiet.com |
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