Redd lily
Actor 
facilitator - Roundhouse London📍Newham council 
MILF’ing since ‘17 
raised on pop tarts and Lauryn Hill.  
Supporter of women. ❤️

https://www.instagram.com/reddlilz/

“I’m pregnant!” I will never forget the look of confusion, mixed with slight panic, in the eyes of my fellow actresses as I made my announcement.  I was at a private screening for a short film a college of mine had produced and I was happy to see quite a few within the industry that I knew. 
“Do the agency know? They’re not going to like it just warning you.”
 Not quite the reaction I was expecting. The panic set in. I was 5 months pregnant and not showing yet. I already had some anxiety about what my post baby body would be like and how long it would take me to be able to get back to auditioning. As a woman we’re constantly told by everything around us we’re just not good enough as we are, and that pressure is tenfold when you’re an actress. We want a women for this role that’s super talented but that also looks great on screen, we want you to be pretty, but not too pretty, skinny, sexy but not too sexy, authentic but not TOO real - (I mean we want to see a BIT of vulnerability but no one wants to see you have a genuine melt down about something that’s important to  you Susan, that would just make people feel UNCOMFORTABLE and we certainly wouldn’t want that ) 
It’s one of the few industries out their where employers are actually allowed to politely tell you you’re too old for the job or just don’t have the right “look.”  I felt the pressure of all this before but I never was actually too fussed about being overly skinny, I always stayed between a UK size 10 - 12 but pregnancy sent my brain into overdrive. I was in an unhappy relationship and the thought of being a new mum and losing a career that I loved on top of all that seemed like too much to bear. I started spending hours on the internet researching how long will it take to get my body back, how to hide a bump, working mum success stories, meal plans while breast feeding, top 5 tummy wraps, snapback body stories, how to still have energy with a new-born. After reading some disconcerting stories in mum chat rooms my google search changed. Effects of depression during pregnancy. Will my baby be born unhappy? How to know if you will suffer will post-natal depression. Top 10 signs you might get post-natal depression. I tried my hardest to put the thoughts out of my mind.  At 6 months pregnant I was powering through a theatre show but My morning sickness was out of control I felt awful. My son’s dad begged me to stop. It was an all-female cast and I’d worked with the director before and she told me it was completely fine if I needed to drop out. However, I’d already worked out that if I did the performance at 7 months and then recovered quickly there wouldn’t be a massive gap in my CV. I flaunted my pregnancy to my friends and family but kept it a secret from my agent and employers. I remember going to an audition for a part in a bbc drama and hid my belly under a baggy top  because I didn’t have the courage to say , “no, I can’t audition for this because I’m 7 months pregnant and if you hire me I’d most likely be giving birth on the floor of the set.” 
Then the inevitable happened. I woke up one morning and BOOM. There it was. My son had moved from growing in my hips to full blown baby belly and no amount of clever fashion trickery was going to hide it. An audition came through (shockingly it was not for a programme or theatre show that needed an emotionally charged, heavily pregnant women that forgets where the hell she’s supposed to be going mid journey) so instead of drop everything and run to the audition like actors are expected to do I had to admit I was pregnant. But not just any old pregnant no no! I had to admit I was super-duper pregnant with bells on about to give birth any day now (I wish I could have been a fly on that wall) but it was fine. Nothing happened and the world didn’t come crashing down around me. I was proud of what I’d achieved during those months. I’d bonded with the growing baby in my belly at that point and I was just excited to meet him. A few days after my due date my son was born, my birth was straight forward I felt stronger than I’d ever been. All my fears of depression dissolved. My relationship completely broke down and I found myself alone with a tiny baby for the most part, but I knew everything was going to be okay.
 I think Tighe was 3 weeks old when I got the email to say my agency was scaling down and they were letting me go, but best of luck in future. I felt deflated at first, I knew I could put myself forward for stuff on my own but I didn’t have time for that, I was a single mum now with a new born and I just wanted to be with my son. Then something amazing happened. I started to get messages from friends and people I’d worked with in the past, “Are you still acting? I’ve got an audition for you! I’d think you’d be great for this part / I’ve put your name forward for this...”
Tighe was four months old when I had my first day back on set of a short film and I felt great. I went on to be cast in a play with a company that had the budget to pay for my childcare and I got to bring Tighe on tour with me, he wasn’t even one yet! Most recently I did a one woman show and found out I’ve been nominated for Best Female Performance in a Play for 2020. Even just to be nominated goes to show how the industry is changing for mothers. 
Yes, in the acting world a lot of these spaces are still run by middle aged white men that don’t get it and seeing an actress for a part with a family is a burden to them. Yes, it’s not still plain sailing at the moment, I still have inappropriate things said to me at auditions, I’ve lost jobs and opportunities because of my son. But there is also a revolution happening - women are refusing to audition for unrealistic two-dimensional parts, companies are offering childcare budgets for actors with children, women are writing work about abortion, motherhood, depression, and more and more places are putting these story’s on stage and on screen. I might not win the award I’ve been put forward for but as a single mum of a 2 year old it just goes to show if we keep pushing, keep sharing our stories and supporting each other, we will be seen, we will be heard, because we deserve to be here and be celebrated even after becoming someone’s mum.






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BY KELLY MULLANE AKA  https://citymumblog.wordpress.com


So I called this blog ‘City Mum’ because I’m a mum and I work in the City. To be honest, I don’t work in the City as such….my office is in Canary Wharf really. I do work for one of those giant financial institutions (although mine had nothing to do with the credit crisis…promise!) and I’ve been in this world for 8 years now. Before joining the universe of corporate policies and multiple computer screens, I was in the Army. I served for 7 years, I went to Iraq (twice) as well as other places, and although I was by no means the toughest mutha in the platoon (I wasn’t married nor a mum at that point and most of my old Army buddies will remember me as the chubby (okay, fat) jolly bird who was good at languages (I was an interpreter), I was pretty resilient in my own way – I achieved a bunch of stuff, made it to the rank of Captain and was pretty self-confident despite not looking fabulous in uniform (but let’s face it, only the very lucky ones do)).But then came the day that I decided to have a go in the ‘real world’. I uploaded my CV onto a load of websites and got a call a few weeks later from a retired Infantry Major who wanted to know whether I was interested in a role in the ‘City’. My first question was ‘which city?” (I kid you not!) And then once I had been thoroughly patronized, I stuck on my M&S suit, polished my sensible shoes and headed to St Paul’s to learn all about Investment Banking and how I had ‘transferable’ skills aplenty that these giant conglomerates would lap up in spades! And do you know what? They did!!Five roles in three different companies later, a fabulous female mentor or two (my first boss in the City was an incredible woman who taught me all about fabulous shoes and that civvies were all shit and wouldn’t do what I asked – even if I asked nicely)* I am now a slimmer (stress, coffee, a variety of crap, sawdust-based soup diets and then finally being sensible at slimming world!) and more stylish (much better wages and better shopping opportunities) version of that Army girl. I still like being in charge, I don’t like being questioned and watch yourself if you undermine me in any way (Immi and Ted don’t seem to understand this yet). I crack on with tasks – often not bothering to think about the wider strategic picture (Ooh how I remember the Combat Estimate – as long as my two-up boss has given me the steer, I know what I need to do – why do I need to check with absolutely everyone and their managers?! Oooooh, decisions by committee…what fun! FFS!)So what’s it like as a mum in the City? I have literally no time – as mentioned in all my early blog, I’m still in a minority group and I’m often the only woman in the meeting. Oh and I’m not paid as much as my male colleagues but that’s all starting to change. There are lots of women’s networks discussing women breaking through those glass ceilings, corporate policies, important business ideas and preparing for the next generations to join us in the workplace and nothing like how the old boys, desperate to hold on to the power, refer to us. No, we are not knitting groups! Christ, my bra literally self-ignited after hearing that little gem recently! But to honest, I’m much the same as any other working mum – I prepare my work outfit the night before (who has time to hunt for that other earring?!), I scrape food off my shoulders before getting to the office, I’m always surgically connected to my mobile in case school or our childminder (Mary Poppins) calls. I leave the office early even though I’ll be working much later that everyone else and I need a ‘mummy pass’ to join in with the office drinks on a Thursday night (thanks to the long-suffering bearded one who never says no!). I like being a City mum – I don’t always like my job but coming home to my little rays of sunshine is always the best welcome home ever. And I always hold on to the fact that although a lot of these City-types think they’re masters of the universe, they haven’t really experienced much outside this bubble of a world – and I’ve definitely got one or two up on them there!* She didn’t mean all civvies – only some of them! And she didn’t actually say ‘civvies’ – she said ‘people’ but at the time, ‘civvies’ is what I heard!

Clockwise from top left: Aisha Carrington; Rebecca Walker; Leila Fataar; Katy Worwood; Caroline Watson; Rima Theisen; Founder of Mothers Meeting, Jenny Scott; Carrie Anne Roberts

‘Mothers Meeting is a collective, a community, a welcoming space for women, because motherhood is hard. When you wake up and feel really sad for no reason, even though you’ve got a healthy child, only another mother could understand that. So, it’s really important to have a platform where you can vent, whether it’s how you didn’t sleep the night before, or because you’ve got a business idea and don’t know how to make it happen. Having that group of women around you – who are ready to listen and give you feedback – empowers mothers to be the best version of themselves.

‘The idea for Mothers Meeting came from my heart. It wasn’t about making money, it was
about making friends. I gave birth to my first baby, Sonny, when I was 28, and had no idea
that having a child would change anything. I didn’t realise motherhood would be so hard,
or that I’d be so lonely. So, I thought, I’ve got to do something about this. I looked in Time Out
for an exhibition that I wanted to go to, but knew if I just said I was going, I’d end up watching The Jeremy Kyle Show in my pyjamas and feeling sorry for myself. So, because I’m a graphic designer, I designed a poster [inviting others] to go to the exhibition and put it on social media. Then I had to go, in case someone else turned up. One person came to the first one, and that was the beginning of Mothers Meeting. I started a blog and it grew organically; [it seemed there were] more and more women who wanted to be mums, but also didn’t want it to be the end of their lives.
‘Mothers Meeting has been my saviour; it’s like my fourth child. I’ve got three children:
Sonny is nine, Jasmine is five and Sky is two, and each time I’ve had a newborn, I’ve found
motherhood lonely in different ways. When Jasmine was eight months old and Sonny was
five, their dad cheated on me and left, so Mothers Meeting became my best friend in
a way, and it has changed and evolved with me. ‘We’ve hosted more than 500 Mothers
Meeting events now. We have our meet-ups for Soho House members, we do events for brands
from Netflix to Estée Lauder, and we have an online group with about 200 members. It’s full
of so many different types of women.

​ One of the things I was really psyched about before
I had my first baby, was meeting people who worked in different jobs beyond the industry
that I was operating in. As a graphic designer working in streetwear, I was going to the same
type of events and talking to the same kind of people. I was so excited that I’d be able to sit in
a room with lawyers and estate agents and people from all different walks of life when I
had a baby. I think a lot of mum groups are very white and very middle class, but Mothers
Meeting has always been diverse. Our Instagram [page] is full of quotes you can relate
to, whatever your age or background. I try to find our common ground.

‘We’re all here to inspire and support each other; to watch these women grow together is
just amazing. Mothers Meeting gives so many women a springboard. Loads of mums have
come to me and said they’d really like to do a talk about a certain subject, then that talk has
been seen by [someone from] a publishing company. More than 20 women have launched
books off the back of attending our events. ‘Honesty is really important in building
a community. When you have a baby and meet people, it’s always, “How are you doing?” “Great!” Because for that split second, you are alright. But when I introduce Mothers Meeting events, I’m always like, “I’m really grateful for you being here today because, no matter what type of mum you are, whether you work full time or stay at home, it’s really hard.” I want everyone in Mothers Meeting to feel like they’re on an equal footing; all the speakers at the events that we put on talk in a way that’s accessible. It might be a highbrow subject, but we always make it digestible. ‘How do you build a family out of a group of strangers? Talk from your heart. I think that’s really important. There’s so much bullshit out there these days – as soon as people feel like you are being real, it gives them licence to drop their guard. I try to pair people up, knowing who’s doing what and who would get on with who. I’ve done that since I was a kid; my mum used to say I was like the Pied Piper. I love
bringing everyone together, I get a thrill from introducing people to one another.’

THANK GOD NOT ANOTHER PANEL TALK!!!!
THIS EVENT WAS ALLLLL ABOUT YOU AND FOR YOU!! 

Absolute buzzing AFTER our MM on Monday at the super sexy @thecurtainldn - not all mum meet ups are in Church Halls!! Because all us mums deserve to get glam now and again even if it is at 11am and not 9pm! We had the amazing @tibaandmarl @bexfast_@noella23 giving their top networking tips! And @junie_poonie  our MEGA MINGLE MC! Over 100 tickets were snapped up and it was BLOODY BRILLIANT!!!!! Babies were welcome! 
Just have a pic at the pics to get a feel of the vibe!!! It was just fab!!
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Bored of listening to other people telling you what to do? Or how awesome they are? We bloody are!! lol!!!
What’s the first question most people ask you when you meet?
It’s likely, “What do you do?”
This has become the new “How’s it going?” or “How about that weather?” and it’s awful.
If you’re anything like me, this question leaves you feeling sized-up and minimized. It’s as if the asker is thinking to herself, “I’m out of here if she doesn’t fit my predetermined criteria of what is interesting.”
So, you struggle to answer, not even sure if the asker cares in the first place, or if it’s just small talk.
Why does it have to be like this? And why do we care so much about what someone does, anyway? Hopefully, we respect ourselves enough to know that we are dynamic people who can’t be described adequately in one sentence.
Want to share your thoughts, feelings, questions?? Not just WHAT YOU DO or WHO YOU ARE!!!!! Cause that whole conversation is kinda dry especially if that is all that matters to the person asking!!


WE Want YOU to meet new inspiring women, in the same boat as you or women that can help you feel less alone and more inspired???
Than this event is for you!! Think mega mum get together - cause you can bring the bubba!!! But loads of really cool 'networking' games to help everyone get conversations flowing and overcome shyness and awkwardness!!! But we just hate the word ' NETWORKING' It is basically a room full of kick ass women (yep we are talking about you!!!) getting to chat to new like-minded women!! Exchanging ideas, swapping skills and generally have a moan that that they have not had their moustache threaded in 4 months!! That kind of thing!! 
So if you HAVE been looking for a excuse to get out of the house with the bubba or maybe without - just an excuse to get some lippy on THEN YOU HAVE TO COME TO THIS!!!!! And we promise you will not regret it!!!

FIND OUT MORE ABOUT EMMA AND HER BRILLIANT BRAND HERE

​Mothers Meeting 
Staying Strong in Business


Recently I listened to Alyson Hogg (owner of Vita Liberata) talk about how she has succeeded in business and one of her biggest lessons was surrounding lack of complacency. That ultimately, staying strong, being tenacious and flexible in challenging times was vital to a business success.

Staying strong in challenging times has been a large part of my business journey at LITTLE HOTDOG WATSON https://www.littlehotdogwatson.com/ sometimes the challenges have been bigger than others, and some days I have felt a little overwhelmed but each major challenge has taught me something in business and has improved how I do things.

Here are three of the biggest challenges I have faced so far and how I stayed strong and fought / flexed through them. You may recognise some of them yourself now or in the future.

1. BREXIT - when I launched Little Hotdog Watson we got off to a great start having built a loyal social media following. A few weeks after we launched the Brexit vote hit and the UK was plunged into uncertainty. Sales slowed almost overnight not just for me but across the UK and small businesses were left in a very precarious position. My plan for the business had been to focus on a direct business model and concentrate on the UK market for the first year. I quickly realised that if the business was going to survive I would need to pivot and accelerate my plans and introduce wholesale. Within a couple of weeks I had signed up to my first tradeshow Dot to Dot, London. At Dot to Dot, we won Best New Brand, secured a handful of wholesale contracts. If it hadn’t been for Brexit I wouldn’t have begun wholesaling, so I’m grateful for that door opening.

1. COPYING - it’s a tale as old as time and they say imitation is the highest form of flattery but in some cases it just isn't! A few months into the business I was copied on a huge scale with my branding, face, and products being used. As I had protection in place I was quickly able to enlist legal help and I worked with the social media platforms to have all copyright infringed images removed. Over the last three years this continues to happen and in each instance I have taken a different tact to dealing with the issue, whether it’s been a kindly word to someone not realising how much they’ve been inspired by me to legal action or engaging with other small business for support. It’s taught me to always ensure that I am ahead of the game with the products that I develop so I am always pushing for newness, I protect my designs and I have a zero tolerance of any inspiration of my design, I also don’t show anything on social media until they are ready to launch. This meant I had to change my behind the scenes social media strategy a little but has ultimately protected me more and lets me worry less.

1. FAMILY - setting up and running a business around kids is tough. Anyone who tells you different must have the best behaved kids around. I had the idea for Little Hotdog Watson when my eldest was 3.5months old. I worked on the idea for a long time and launched when she was just over a year old. I was living in a new city and didn’t have childcare for most of that time. Later on my parents moved close by and nursery a few mornings a week became an option but running a business is full on and kids are full on. It’s not by any stretch the easy option. We had our second daughter in January 2019 and right upto the day I went to hospital to have her I was being emailed and called constantly. When I arrived home from hospital with my new daughter I was greeted by the health visitor and a lorry with a LOT of hats. It was at that point with two children that I had to stop and reassess so I didn’t go crazy. We shifted to warehousing and I adapted my working day again around sleep patterns and streamlining my focus. The difference it has made it huge. Had it not been for the arrival of my youngest I probably wouldn’t have been brave enough to take a leap and push my business to the next step.

Strength comes in all forms but knowing that solutions to the problems we face can actually make better businesses I’ve found super helpful to taking the stress out of the situation.

Emma Watson, is the owner of Little Hotdog Watson. A kidswear brand making sun hat combining style + innovation to get kids away from the screen and out into the fresh air. The sun hat offer triple protection from UV, Mosquitoes and Overheating and are currently stocked in 100 + stores in 7 countries worldwide.    

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Amazing pics as always by the fab @kellyreevesphotography

There are so many defining moments in my life but nothing, nothing, nothing could ever prepare me for the shock of finding out I had breast cancer. I was 38. My kids were tiny (4 and 2). I was nursing my mum through terminal and aggressive lymphoma. I was running a creative business, a content agency that employed seven women who all relied on me to be able to pay their bills.


October 2014. It was my husbands birthday. Rather than celebrating down the pub we were in the strip lit cancer centre.


“I’m sorry but you have aggressive breast cancer.” 


In that split second life took an unchartered trajectory and changed forever. All I could think was a) how would I cope with everything I was juggling and b) how my kids might grow up without me.


But I learned how resilient I really was. I had to go through a mastectomy, radiotherapy and 18 rounds of chemotherapy. God, I hated sitting in that room, being pumped full of drugs - some days I had treatment on the same day as my mum, some days randomly sitting next to the butchers wife - as you do - making small talk like “how you doing today?” It was so weird.


My dad had already died, and watching my mum become more and more poorly and in the worst pain was literally one of the most heart-breaking times of my life. It was so unfair. Watching her die was the strangest and hardest thing ever but also a privilege. I literally had to go straight from the hospice the day she’d passed away to have my own chemotherapy appointment. It was all so surreal. 


I was literally in danger of losing my sh*t.


Lucky for me I’ve never been conventional so when my husband suggested moving abroad to get away from it all for a bit, to heal and do something different, to live by the sea and learn a new language I took all of a nano second to say yes. The day after my last chemotherapy session we moved to Barcelona, bought a camper van (and named her Annie after my mum @anniethevan on Insta) and spent two and a half years travelling.


And all that sunshine, learning a new language and yoga on the beach opened up my closed and bedraggled heart. So I wanted to share the lessons I learned because what I know is that grief is really all about love. And I don’t hate cancer, in fact I have learned to be grateful for all these things it taught me. 


1. When you’re faced with sh*t, your inner goddess makes an entrance.


Because we are all waaaayyy more badass than we think, it’s inside us all already. You, me, everyone. So, quite literally, grief and cancer have gifted me with the meeting of my inner self, and now I know she’s there, I know she’ll always have my back!


2. It’s not the time we’ve got, it’s the memories we make. 
Sharing a small van with kids might not be for everyone, but for us it works. We lived in 10square metres together for 6 months and covered 17 countries. Nothing beats the thrill of parking up by deserted beaches and cooking our dinner watching the surfers, or of road tripping around the Croatian countryside singing our hearts out with literally NO plan about where we are going to go next. 


3. You’ve got to do what makes you happy. Not just on the surface but deep inside. 


It was only after making a massive lifestyle change I realised working with major brands didn’t make me happy. My clients were the likes of Unilever, Jumeirah and Wedgwood. Little old me, a new mum who grew a business to multiple six figures. Success, right? But what I really craved was a deeper connection and I realised I could use all my experience to help other women, so I started my new business from a point of love.




4. There is NO love like mother’s love, whether they are here or not.


Losing my own mum as I was worrying about my own mortality was traumatic. But all this only made my love stronger. An elderly neighbour told me once that relationships still evolve after someone has passed away and it’s so true. I am grateful to have amazing people in my life but nobody will ever be able to look deep into my soul like my mum and my daughters can. That her love would flow down so freely through me into them. And even though she's not here, she still guides me unconditionally through life.


5. Grief is a powerful part of love.


It helps me see what is truly important. It shows me not to sweat the small stuff, but to crouch down tenderly and savour the simple moments. The kids crawling into bed with us in the morning, washing up in the sun by the campervan, waking up on a deserted beach, snogging my husband.


So when I'm knackered after being up with sick kids, or like now, going through a load of tests to check whether the cancer has come back, I hold onto these lessons tight because they have made me evolve and grow into the woman and mum I think I was always meant to be.


Bio


Ruth Hoskins (@ruthie_hoskins on Insta) - I'm a writer, podcaster and mentor to creatives as well as a mum of two girls and step mum to one (big) boy. I've just moved back to the UK after years of travelling and living in Barcelona. I'm about to launch an online course for creatives to find chemistry within their business. I'm obsessed with the 80s and dim sum.



ruthhoskins.com

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Happy Mother’s Day to me.  Or maybe not.  It’s 6:01am, I’m awake, my son is having the mother of all meltdowns.  He’s crying and I’m crying.  This is why I hate Mother’s Day, there’s too much expectation.  But I’m sleep-deprived and would desperately have liked a lie-in.  That is all.
 
My bet would be that you’re reading this and assuming my son is a toddler - he’s not.  He’s 7 and has ADHD.  When you think about ADHD no doubt the obvious behaviours spring to mind such as hyperactivity, impulsivity and inattention. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg.  Forget the misconceptions about bad parenting or naughty boys.  ADHD is real. ADHD is a complex neurological disorder.  It’s a hidden disability. It’s exhausting.
 
His insatiable energy knows know limits.  He is like a Duracell Bunny, he literally never stops and has volume levels that are not for the faint-hearted.  But that’s the easy part.  The bit that most people have no idea about is the intense and volatile emotions that explode frequently without warning. 
 
It’s like there is a mini caveman inside his brain, so when he feels any kind of emotional stress his parasympathetic nervous system kicks in, flooding him with adrenalin and causing him to get locked in Fight mode.  Often, it’s hard for him to distinguish between feelings of anxiety and excitement so his angry outbursts can be triggered by positive experiences or events, as well as negative ones.  Punishment is not effective for children with ADHD, so when he is in Fight mode, all I can do is calm and comfort him.  These behaviours are impulsive.  They are not deliberate.  He’s not giving me a hard time, he’s having a hard time.  But it is draining, soul destroying and utterly heart-breaking.
 
Sometimes it starts before I’ve even got out of bed in the morning.  Then come nighttime, his anxieties are in full flow which often means sitting outside of his bedroom door until he falls asleep.  By which point I’m drained and have no real break before it starts all over again.  It’s 24/7. 
 
It seems to take more and more from me each day.  I’m struggling.  But it’s my responsibility to help and protect him.  Help he so desperately wants.  I’m doing everything I can, but it is a slow process with no short-term fix and no end in sight.  There’s no immediate solution.  No magic wand.  And I feel unbelievable gut-wrenching guilt for even saying this stuff out loud.  The worst thing is the feeling that I’m doing him a huge disservice by sharing this.
 
I’m probably painting a really bad image of my son, because the reality is that he is absolutely not a naughty boy. He’s challenging.  Oh my god he’s challenging.  But he is not a naughty boy.  He’s an incredibly sensitive, kind and caring little boy.  A really sociable kid.  ADHD is also his super power.  He is bright, has an absolute lust for life and boundless energy which he channels into lots of sports to great achievement.  He’s only 7 and was just awarded his 600m swimming badge.  Then there’s his creativity.  His imagination knows no limits.  And when he draws, he has the ability to hyper focus, getting lost in his illustrations.
 
ADHD was diagnosed almost 18 months ago.  The diagnosis itself was a shock as until then I thought I was just a rubbish Mum.  For a brief window the symptoms provided explanation and temporary relief.  But things seem to be getting worse.  I haven’t spoken about it publicly until now as I’ve been so frightened that sharing this label with the world would make things worse for him.  It’s only become aware to me recently how much of a hidden disability it is.  He is not a neurotypical child, something I’m learning to recognise.   So, I’ve been summoning the courage and confidence to write this.  Because ADHD is real.  It’s not an excuse.  It’s not his fault. It’s a description of his brain.  It’s unhelpful and unhealthy to expect certain things of him.  So please don’t judge him, because he’s the boy I love most in this world.  I just have to dig a little deeper.
 
Mother’s Day wasn’t a complete write off, I got to eat pizza and drink wine at tea time.  But I’ve decided from now on it’s best not to distinguish it too much from any other Sunday.  That way it removes the anxiety-inducing expectation for him, and the disappointment from me.  But I’d still really like some sleep!

Claire Quigley Ward MBA
Co-founder & Managing Director
@from_pea